I’ve been reading Jerry Bridges’ book Discipline of Grace with several men from church, and have been encouraged by the frequent recounting of the glories of the gospel.  Bridges emphasizes over and over the importance of living by grace and not merely by performance.  In other words, he argues that the pursuit of holiness must be rooted in God’s grace, and not in a desire to somehow gain his acceptance by our performance.  To sum this up, Bridges reminds the reader to “preach the gospel to yourself” every day.

This evening, as I was re-reading the chapter titled, “Disciplined by Grace,” I came across his contrast of the importance of grace-based pursuit of holiness to the way that children are often raised, to feel as if their acceptance is somehow dependent upon their performance (in school, in good behavior, etc.).

And suddenly it was like a light bulb went on in my head!

Why did this resonate so?  Well, in particular, I’ve been listening to a talk by Josh McDowell recently delivered at a homeschool conference on the subject of relational parenting.  And at the heart of his talk is this principle: “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.”  And over and over in his talk, he emphasized the critical importance of delighting in our children, and expressing that delight to them, independent of and even in the face of their shortcomings.   For example, he would say to his children, “I know you really wanted to [succeed].  And you gave it your all, and fell short.  But I want you to know that I love you.  And that will never be because of anything you do, but because you are made in the image of God, of infinite value and dignity.  And that will never change.”

He added that if we fail to regularly delight in them and don’t consistently accept them and love them independent of what they do, then even Biblically-performed discipline will lead to rebellion.  On the other hand, a child who is constantly reminded of his parents’ constant love, delight and joy in will be one who will delight to please his parents, and one in whom discipline will actually have its desired effect.

As I read Bridges’ parallel to parenting, I suddenly realized that the very point McDowell was making — the need to openly delight in and affirm our children unconditionally — is exactly how God delights in His children (us!) in the gospel.  And that’s exactly why we need to preach the gospel to ourselves every day.  Because the gospel is God’s way of expressing His delight toward us as a parent, when we regularly recall the gospel reality that God loves us not because of anything we might do, we will delight to serve Him.  Not out of enslaving performance-orientation, or self-justifying legalism; but out of a joyful relationship with Him by virtue of the realities of the gospel.  In other words, just as my child will delight to honor me if I delight in him, so too we will delight in pursuing holiness when we realize that God delights in us because of Christ’s work on our behalf!

This was an epiphany.  For so long, I’d heard this idea of preaching the gospel to oneself, and agreed in principle.  But it was just something of an intuitive leap to figure out how preaching the gospel transformed the way in which we pursue holiness.  It was this final connection to my need as a parent to daily express my love and delight for my children – independent of anything they had done or could ever do — that opened my eyes to that very same love and delight God has for us because of our union with Christ.  And through that, I think I’ve finally grasped why the gospel must be central to our pursuit of holiness.  It’s the only way that the discipline and pursuit of holiness will be delight and not drudgery.

And they say theology is just heady stuff.  Far be it.  Not only has the reality of the gospel shaped how I might serve the God who made me; but, Lord willing, it will shape the way in which I love my own children.   Even as I preach the gospel to myself for the sake of my sanctification, it paves the way for me to practice “gospel delight” in parenting.

In our recent history lessons we talked about creation and how everything came into being.  We are a Christian family and we believe in creation and that God is the creator of all things.  After talk about the six days of creation, I went on to explain a little about evolutionary theory.  While in mid-sentence of explaining that some people believe we come from the pond scum, my oldest burst out laughing.  It was absolutely incredulous for him.  Pond scum?  Huh?  How bizarre.  He thought I was kidding and I had to pause and persuade him that real people out there do believe in naturalistic evolution.

What’s interesting to me is that many of us were educated in the public school system where the theory of evolution is taught as the ultimate truth.  As such, Christians often wrestle with “reconciling” what they are taught in government/secular schools against what the Bible teaches.  My son, on the other hand, didn’t have this challenge.  Having a clean slate, so to speak, the clarity of his mind was able to comprehend the absurdity of evolution.  This is fascinating to me.  A child can comprehend the impossibility and the incredulous nature of evolution whereas far more educated and “mature” people can’t (or won’t).

In the subsequent lesson we learned about dinosaurs.  We believe that dinosaurs once roamed the earth with humans, meaning dinosaurs and humans coexisted.  This is contrary to the popular and prominent understanding that dinosaurs were the only creatures on land and that they did not coexist with humans.  The Bible said that God created the sea, air, and land animals on fifth and sixth day of creation, wouldn’t the dinosaurs be included?  Man was created on the sixth day so this means both dinosaurs and man coexisted.  This is another fascinating truth.  Again, I explained that many scientists believe that dinosaurs existed by themselves and not with humans.

My oldest piped up and said, “Yeah, I know.  That’s what all my dinosaur books say.”

Then I posed the question, “If your dinosaur books said one thing and the Bible said another, what are we to believe?”

He promptly said, “The Bible is the only true book in the whole world so the Bible is right.”

I was so proud!  Even though I had expected him to tell me that the Bible was right, I certainly didn’t expect him to say that the Bible is the one true book in the whole world.  Ain’t this the truth?!!

I know some Christian parents are afraid to teach evolution or even have books with evolution idea in their home.  Even though I don’t subscribe to evolutionary theory, I believe we should teach our kids about it (as much as we should warn them about other false beliefs of the world around us).  We shouldn’t hide this from them because to do so, it’d be very shocking to their system should they learn it from somewhere else.  We shouldn’t be afraid of teaching or mentioning evolution because when we are diligent and faithful in teaching our children the ultimate truth, i.e., the Bible, they will see that anything that goes contrary to the truth in the Bible is not true.  We need not be afraid that we’ll have to “defend” the Bible — it can do a great job of it by itself.

I’m very glad to have such discussions with my children in our home school, and I hope to have more discussions of this sort in the future.

I’ve been feeling beaten down of late.  Each day with its unique and some not-so-unique challenges make me grow weary.  There were days where I went to bed feeling dejected and not looking forward to another day of challenges.  Let’s face it, taking care of five little ones, homeschooling, and managing a household are just hard.

Rather than wallowing in depression, I’m reminded of God’s mercies being made new for each day:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

(Lamentations 3:22-23)

God is faithful and even though we mess up, his mercies are extended for another day to make amends.  Whether you’re feeling beaten down by your work, school, home life, or whatever, God’s mercies are renewed day by day.  This is the truth we can trust in.

At least, that’s how many days it’s been since we posted on our blog.

What can we say?  We’ve been afflicted by summer, a development spurt from our now-7-month-old daughter, and a lack of inspiration for great blog entries.

Otherwise… I’ve been picking up a few books at the same time, as usual, two of which have been especially helpful.

When People Are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch is a book that looks into how all of us suffer to some degree from a fear of man, or desire for man’s acceptance; instead of a fear of God and desire to please Him alone.  Where I initially had some other folks in mind when I picked it up (don’t we all? =-p), it’s been helpful for me already to see areas where I succumb to looking to gain the acceptance of others instead of being “God’s man.” Things may get even better should I progress to chapter two and beyond…

The Discipline of Grace by Jerry Bridges is a book I read through over a decade ago in a men’s study and prayer group.  It’s remarkable how time has changed my perspective on life, on God, and on obeying God.  So it’s with new eyes, of a sort, that I picked it up a couple of days ago to start reading it again.  And I was struck anew by his helpful thoughts on the importance of grace — and how easily we forget its necessity in every Christian’s life.   He sums it up well in the first chapter with this memorable quote: “Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace.  And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.”

I’m hoping to redeem a good amount of my limited spare time this summer by stealing moments to read a book here and there.  Wifey is reading Tim Keller’s The Prodigal God, which I speed-read a few months ago and appreciated some of the key points within.  Lord willing, I may also get myself to pick up John Owen’s Overcoming Sin and Temptation as well, difficult though the prose is to work through at times.

So it seems our kids set the pace again.  Even as the local public library, various bookstores and restaurants are offering kids incentives to read; it appears we have our own opportunity to do some summer reading.

To close, some new (and old) photos of the kids in gratitude for your energies slogging through my prose:

Do you casually say “I will pray for you” when someone just shared a struggle or a trial with you?  You want to comfort them so you promise to pray for them, which is a good thing.  However, do we merely say it because it sounds right?  It sounds quite spiritual as well.

But in actuality, do you pray like you said you would?  Too often we make the promise too casually and forget to pray.  I admit that I’ve been guilty of this in the past.  We need to be reminded that a promise is a promise and we need to be true to our words.  The recipient of the promise may not know whether you prayed or not, but God does.  Nowadays when I say “I will pray for you,” I really do make a point to pray.

Let’s make sure our offers to pray are not mere “words” of false comfort, but a promise to offer up intercessions on others’ behalf to the King of all creation.

I know quite a few eligible, godly, and attractive young ladies who want to get marry and start a family, but feel frustrated by the apparent absence of mature and godly men interested in pursuing them.  In the meantime, they are waiting patiently and anxiously, but the process of waiting is difficult at times.  I came across Nancy Wilson’s recent posts about this specific subject that I know will benefit my single female audience.  In Wilson’s Unmarried and Fruitful post, she writes:

In your thinking, do not let marriage become an end rather than a means. Marriage is a means of glorifying God, not an end in itself. Determine to use your unmarried state as a means of glorifying God as well, and don’t allow marriage to become something other than what it is in the created order. In other words, don’t let it become an idol, something that has way too much importance to you, so that you believe you are only half a person or that you are being held back spiritually because of your unmarried state.

Read more…

I’m attempting to better redeem my time by renewing the practice of reading good books, when I can squeeze it in each day.  I certainly have enough candidates awaiting my attention on my bookshelf.  So after speed-reading Tim Keller’s provocative and excellent book, The Prodigal God, I’ve decided to begin reading a modernized (but unabridged) collection of three classic works by Puritan John Owen (1616-1683), in a book titled Overcoming Sin and Temptation.

As I began a couple of days ago (in the introduction), I came across an eloquent insight on overcoming temptation.

“Let a soul exercise itself to a communion with Christ in the good things of the gospel—pardon of sin, fruits of holiness, hope of glory, peace with God, joy in the Holy Ghost, dominion over sin—and he shall have a mighty preservative against all temptations.” — Works of John Owen, 6:144

Do you struggle with temptations?  I sure do.  Every day.  In areas I expect, and in ways that surprise me.  And I often feel helpless.  So it was of great encouragement that I read the above reminder on how to best battle against temptation.  When I face temptation, especially of “old” sins that keep cropping up, I find myself tending to dwell on that sin: how come I haven’t defeated it, why it keeps recurring, etc.

Owen’s point is simple.  It is not through that sort of ongoing self-introspection that we best battle remaining sin.  Rather, it is through frequent and regular meditation upon and relating to God through the graces of His gospel.  A focus not on self, but on God in Christ and the glories of the gospel, is the surest weapon in our struggle against temptation and sin while we remain on this earth.

An analogy comes to mind.  What’s the best way to keep weeds out of a lawn?  Wheelbarrows of weed-killer every day?  I think not.  The best way to keep weeds out of a lawn is to keep the grass healthy and thriving through ongoing mowing, water and nutrition.  Yet when I attempt to defeat sin by focusing on temptation and sin and self, I’m essentially trying to kill the weeds of sin in my life solely through ongoing weed-killer.  Instead, to overcome sin and temptation, I ought to be primarily focused on sustaining a healthy, thriving communion with Christ, grounded in and dwelling on the gospel and its promises.  And what do you know… that also “happens” to be the best way to keep sin from taking root in my life.

And surely this is a crucial strategy to grasp, for, as Owen has also said: “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.”