Father, please forgive my sin and cause me to walk in holiness.  Thank you that my sin reminds me again how desperately I need the cross and how thankful I am for your grace [emphasis mine].  Thank you that you love me despite my sin today and that you will use even this for your glory.  Lord Jesus, thank you that you bore those sins in your body on the tree.  Thank you for your love and grant me grace to obey because of it.  (p. 84)

I wrote this prayer on a 3×5 card so that I can go back to it daily as a reminder.  This prayer is very helpful for me because I do feel like a failure at the end of the day because I mess up so many times during the day.  By dinner time I’m simply exhausted and feel beat up by all the sins I’ve racked up.  I feel it quite keenly of late.  Rather than despairing, I am told to be thankful for the opportunity because it reminds me how much I need God and the mercy He has shown on the cross.  How glorious!  I hope that you’ll find this prayer encouraging and helpful in your Christian walk.

For my 5 year old’s math lesson, he was asked to draw 3, 4, and 5 sided polygons.  He asked why he had to start out with a three sided polygon, and before I could answer him, my 7 year old told him that the reason is that there’s no such thing as a two-sided polygon.  Three-sided polygon is the smallest polygon.  My ever-so-knowing older son continued and said that even God can’t draw a two-sided polygon.  Hahahaha. . . he went.

Well, he was certainly right, but I decided to take a step further.  I simply couldn’t let this topic drop.  I proceeded to ask him a very difficult question.  If God is omnipotent, all-powerful, why can’t he draw a two-sided polygon?  My boy proceeded to show me that it’s impossible to draw it because in order for it to be a polygon, it has to have straight lines and they have to close up.  I concurred but pressed the question again.  Since God can’t do it, doesn’t this mean that he’s not all-powerful?  He answered no.  Whew!  I’m glad he answered no.  My boy went on to say that a two-sided polygon is impossible and God is still powerful.  I decided to drop my devil’s advocate persona and told him that he was absolutely right.  There is no such thing as a two-sided polygon because it simply doesn’t exist.  This does not prove nor demonstrate that God is not omnipotent.  Too often we set up our premises wrong and then draw the conclusion that God is not omnipotent.  Before we reject God’s attributes, we need to take a long hard look at our presuppositions and assumptions.

See? I told you polygons and God’s omnipotence relate.  I’m glad I had this conversation with my son.

• I just don’t understand, why is he always late?
• Why is she so (over) sensitive?
• Why aren’t they opening up their home for Bible study?
• Why aren’t people reaching out to the newbies, strangers, or neighbors?
• Why isn’t he helping out?

I know I have.  And in many cases, our perceptions are correct: very often, others in the church are in fact falling short of God’s design for the life of the church.  They really are not serving with all their might.  They really are poor stewards of their time or money.  They really can be inhospitable.  The list goes on…

Yet, as I dwelt on this, I realized that quite often, those failings which most stand out to us correspond with those areas where we least struggle.  For example, how often does someone who’s poor at math point out others who are poor at math?  Likely never (except perhaps in seeking sympathy).  On the other hand, based on my experience, I’m a lot more likely to notice someone is poor in punctuality, if I am consistently and reliably on time.  Similarly, I notice (and feel free to criticize) the person who is sloppy in theology because I’m ever so careful in mine.

And suddenly, it came to me: I’ve become the self-righteous Pharisee that Jesus spoke of in Luke 18:

The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’

You know, that Pharisee wasn’t a bad guy.  He did, after all, fast twice a week, gave tithes.  Very admirable “faithful” follower of God.

I’m betting he was punctual and hospitable too.

And then, Jesus compared this “faithful” worshipper with the very tax collector that the Pharisee looked down on, and pronounced a very different judgment than the Pharisee would have ever expected.

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Most of the time, we don’t think of ourselves as the Pharisee. But how easily we do think of ourselves like the Pharisee thought of himself.

We are not so blatant as to cast aspersions or to say, “I thank God that I am not like those others.”  But we so quickly think less of others based on their weaknesses — and it’s usually in areas we are strong.  Why?  Most of the time, I suspect the answer is that we are the Pharisee — whose instinct is to dwell on areas we have “got things right” rather than the countless areas of our lives that are tarnished by self and sin.

Yet God justifies the one whose only assessment of himself was the only one that mattered: “the sinner.”

What then?   Know your strengths.  Be thankful for God’s grace in those areas.  But the next time you or I start dwelling upon the flaws or shortcomings of a fellow believer (or even an unbeliever!), may we instead take careful inventory of those planks that are present in our own eyes before we attempt to (meekly, graciously, lovingly) pluck the specks out of others’ eyes.  May we frequently cry out, “Thank you God for your mercy to me, a wretched sinner!” instead of comparing our so-called righteousness against another’s deeds.  And may such habits result in more loving and edifying relationships, to the glory of His grace that is at work in us.

I find myself often drawn more to Bible Belt morality than to the gospel. When I go without prayer, I can still recognize the goodness of a just social order, a loving marriage, a stable community. But, when that happens, I don’t see myself as a sinner and, as a result, I don’t see God in Christ. I see God in myself. Unless I see myself in Christ and him crucified, I see God as, at the core, justice, not love, as solitary, not a Trinitarian community of love. When I forget about the gospel, I imagine that God is seeing me in terms of some cosmic scale of my good deeds and sins. That leads me to pride or despair. And it’s crypto-Koranic, not Christian.

…

I don’t want to bring in the reign of God with bombs or box cutters, but I sometimes want to do it with my words, with a well-crafted rebuke, or even with my keyboard. Every time I do such, I act as though my God is a capricious, blood-thirsty idol who is sending me into the world to condemn instead of save it — instead of a loving Father who sent his Son into the world to save it instead of condemn it (Jn. 3:17).

Read the whole thing…

After God created Adam, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”  (Genesis 2:18)  Eve was created to be a helper, suitable for Adam.

Whenever I think of the word “helper,” the word “assistant” comes to mind.  In the corporate world, an assistant is merely an assistant, someone who’s been given assignments or tasks to do by her superior who she has no authority of her own except to do what she’s been instructed.  When a company wants to roll out the next promising product, an assistant is not called upon to handle such project.  Rather, the most promising executive is called upon to handle such task.  In the same manner, I find that women tend to have the same view when thinking about being a helper as designed by God.  We have a low view of being named a helper.  Yet contrary to what we may think or feel, this is not the case.

The Hebrew word for “helper” is ezer which means help or support.  While this meaning doesn’t exude much significance at the moment, my epiphany came about when I learned that the same word, ezer, is also used to describe God as our help.  Some examples in the Bible of this use include:

1 Samuel 7:12 – Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, “Till now the LORD has helped us.”

God helped the Israelites defeat the Philistines in a time of distress and discouragement, and as a symbol of God’s help, Samuel erected a stone called Ebenezer (which means “stone of help”).  Notice the ezer in Ebenezer? Samuel thus declared the Lord had helped them.

Psalm 54:4  – Behold, God is my helper;  the Lord is the upholder of my life.

Psalm 28:7 – The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Knowing the same word, ezer, is used to describe God as our helper, do we still have a low view of being helpers to our husbands?  I should hope not!  As helpers, we help out of strength, not weakness.  We certainly don’t see God as an assistant; and neither should we (or our husbands) view the role of wives as mere assistants.  We are called to help our husbands not because they need someone to fulfill menial tasks, but because God saw that the first man needed help to fulfill God’s perfect purposes for him.

The article raised a number of very important questions, and raised concerns about the prevailing model of “youth ministry” which by and large relies upon professionals (e.g., youth pastors) and ministries/programs for the discipleship of young people in the church.  To the degree such a mainstream journal (published by Christianity Today) strongly advocated the increase of multi-generational discipleship, and encouraged adults in the church to befriend youth; it was a refreshing and helpful article.

Voddie Baucham Ministries recently published a response by Matthew Hudson to the article.  The author takes a few moments to offer praise where praise is due, giving credit to where the underlying researchers have brought out crucial insights.  For example:

A particular strength of the interview is the recognition of the value of multi-generational life and conversation. Dr. Powell frequently cites examples of the value of encouraging teens to take part in the larger community. The kind of relationships commended in Titus 2 are encouraged and lauded in story after story of parents, pastors, and church members being encouraged for the first time to make a more intentional investment in the lives of teens.

And:

Another highlight is the encouragement to have high expectations of young adults. Through their study, they discerned that one thing that even students themselves recognize is missing in modern youth ministry is serious thought and deep discussion. Instead, games have too high a priority for many student ministries.

However, Hudson considers where the researchers may have fallen short, and it is a crucial area:

Yet, while they were laboring to answer these critical questions, there was one question they never asked. Not once was it asked whether or not God has had anything to say about how and by whom the discipleship of the next generation should take place.

While this may seem harsh, or nitpicky, I think this consideration is critical.  Even as the researchers thought about better ways to disciple children, much of their conclusions seem to be drawn on “what works” (pragmatism) rather than what God’s Word has to say about ministering across generations.  Conspicuously absent from the article is any reference to Scripture, and in particular Titus 2:3-6 in its clear implications on multi-generational discipleship:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.

If we are to respond to the “crisis” among youth, and to do so in a Biblical fashion,with Hudson I’d agree that there’s something amiss if all we are advocating is pragmatic ways to get a message across.  What if, for example, multi-generational ministry weren’t demonstrably more effective?  Would Dr. Powell still be an advocate?  Wasn’t the current trend in very activity-oriented, peer-centered children/youth ministry driven by the exact same fundamental philosophy of pragmatism than Scriptural direction?

To take it a step further, even if we “happen” to start involving other generations in the discipleship of our youth — how can we be certain that we are discipling them in the right direction?  Again, apart from the divine guidance of Titus 2, how likely are we to think that discipling young teenage girls means  preparing them to be young women who are “to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands?”  I think the answer is fairly clear.  Far more likely is trying to teach young women to be strong in Bible knowledge (good), faithful witnesses (good), and yet completely devoid of instruction in the primary sphere of most of these women just 10-15 years later, and for the remainder of their lives!

Hudson also raises another important absent from Powell’s conclusions:

One of the most interesting responses was to the question, “What is the parents’ role in this intergenerational vision?”.  The answer given was noticeably missing any reference to the biblical role of a father as the primary discipler of his children. There was no biblical vision, no real hope. Instead, Powell suggests parents should simply talk more with their kids about church, with the new research suggesting letting the kids talk first. Talking more is a great first step, no question. But, someone needs to own the responsibility for instructing and training these young adults–for casting a great big vision of a great big God to them! I submit that the scriptures name that person. (cf. Dt. 6, Ps. 78, 127, 128, Proverbs, Isa. 61.9, Eph. 6, 2 Tm. 3.14-15)

As a father of five young children, I would absolutely echo this thought.  If parents, and especially fathers, are not undertaking great effort to disciple their children in the faith; then the best the church can offer is to overcome the negative effect of unfaithful parenting/fathering.  The most important element in rearing youth in the church to love Jesus, is parents who love Jesus and strive in every possible way to convey that love to their children!  Not merely restructing “youth ministry” in the church to accomodate and encourage multi-generational relationships.

I’d encourage you to read Hudson’s article in full.  He has valuable insights.  I find myself encouraged by the original article, don’t mistake my follow-up as cynical or critical.  But Hudson raises additional points that are important if believers are to see true lasting change in the church with respect to removing the barriers of age & life-stage segmentation in the church in order to fulfill God’s commands in Titus 2 and beyond.

For that matter, these are also some of the key principles that have led us to:

• choose homeschooling as a vehicle for both academics and discipleship, so our children can learn from our following of Jesus.
• invite young adults from our church to our home not just for conversation with us, but interaction with our children
• strive to build meaningful relationships with others in the church who aren’t in the same stage of life (parents of young children)
• share our lives, and not just “regular meeting times,” with those who are younger than we are and might benefit from what God has taught us about family life, marriage, etc.
• pursue, where possible, longstanding meaningful friendship with believers who are older than we are.

Here are some key excerpts from the article that resonate with me:

We’re also finding a relationship between teenagers serving younger kids and their faith maturity when they graduate from high school. Teens should not only be the objects of ministry; they need to be the subjects of ministry as well. It’s the 16 year old that has relationships with 66 year olds and 6 year olds who is more likely to stay involved in a faith community after she graduates.

… There’s a standard ratio in youth ministry: one adult for every five kids. My colleague here at Fuller, Chap Clark, says we need to reverse the ratio and strive for having five adults build into one kid.

When I say that to youth workers or pastors, they tense up. I’m not talking about five Bible study leaders or five small group leaders per teenager. I’m talking about five adults who care enough about a kid that they learn her name, ask her on Sunday how they can be praying for her, and then the following Sunday ask her, “How did it go with that science test?” Our study shows that even these baby step connections can make a real difference.

… Tenth graders study Shakespeare. What are we offering them at church? Nothing comparable to Shakespeare.

… If adults in a church caught a vision that every kid needs to have their name known by five adults in the church, then an adult who’s interested in computers can connect with a teen who is interested in computers. And it’s through things like service that we get to know each other and can follow up later to deepen the relationship.

… one of our more interesting findings is that it’s also very important for parents to share about their own spiritual journeys with kids. Teenagers don’t know how their parents came to know Jesus.

Read the whole article.  Lots of good encouragements and ideas.

This evening, as I was re-reading the chapter titled, “Disciplined by Grace,” I came across his contrast of the importance of grace-based pursuit of holiness to the way that children are often raised, to feel as if their acceptance is somehow dependent upon their performance (in school, in good behavior, etc.).

And suddenly it was like a light bulb went on in my head!

Why did this resonate so?  Well, in particular, I’ve been listening to a talk by Josh McDowell recently delivered at a homeschool conference on the subject of relational parenting.  And at the heart of his talk is this principle: “Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.”  And over and over in his talk, he emphasized the critical importance of delighting in our children, and expressing that delight to them, independent of and even in the face of their shortcomings.   For example, he would say to his children, “I know you really wanted to [succeed].  And you gave it your all, and fell short.  But I want you to know that I love you.  And that will never be because of anything you do, but because you are made in the image of God, of infinite value and dignity.  And that will never change.”

He added that if we fail to regularly delight in them and don’t consistently accept them and love them independent of what they do, then even Biblically-performed discipline will lead to rebellion.  On the other hand, a child who is constantly reminded of his parents’ constant love, delight and joy in will be one who will delight to please his parents, and one in whom discipline will actually have its desired effect.

As I read Bridges’ parallel to parenting, I suddenly realized that the very point McDowell was making — the need to openly delight in and affirm our children unconditionally — is exactly how God delights in His children (us!) in the gospel.  And that’s exactly why we need to preach the gospel to ourselves every day.  Because the gospel is God’s way of expressing His delight toward us as a parent, when we regularly recall the gospel reality that God loves us not because of anything we might do, we will delight to serve Him.  Not out of enslaving performance-orientation, or self-justifying legalism; but out of a joyful relationship with Him by virtue of the realities of the gospel.  In other words, just as my child will delight to honor me if I delight in him, so too we will delight in pursuing holiness when we realize that God delights in us because of Christ’s work on our behalf!

This was an epiphany.  For so long, I’d heard this idea of preaching the gospel to oneself, and agreed in principle.  But it was just something of an intuitive leap to figure out how preaching the gospel transformed the way in which we pursue holiness.  It was this final connection to my need as a parent to daily express my love and delight for my children – independent of anything they had done or could ever do — that opened my eyes to that very same love and delight God has for us because of our union with Christ.  And through that, I think I’ve finally grasped why the gospel must be central to our pursuit of holiness.  It’s the only way that the discipline and pursuit of holiness will be delight and not drudgery.

And they say theology is just heady stuff.  Far be it.  Not only has the reality of the gospel shaped how I might serve the God who made me; but, Lord willing, it will shape the way in which I love my own children.   Even as I preach the gospel to myself for the sake of my sanctification, it paves the way for me to practice “gospel delight” in parenting.

What’s interesting to me is that many of us were educated in the public school system where the theory of evolution is taught as the ultimate truth.  As such, Christians often wrestle with “reconciling” what they are taught in government/secular schools against what the Bible teaches.  My son, on the other hand, didn’t have this challenge.  Having a clean slate, so to speak, the clarity of his mind was able to comprehend the absurdity of evolution.  This is fascinating to me.  A child can comprehend the impossibility and the incredulous nature of evolution whereas far more educated and “mature” people can’t (or won’t).

In the subsequent lesson we learned about dinosaurs.  We believe that dinosaurs once roamed the earth with humans, meaning dinosaurs and humans coexisted.  This is contrary to the popular and prominent understanding that dinosaurs were the only creatures on land and that they did not coexist with humans.  The Bible said that God created the sea, air, and land animals on fifth and sixth day of creation, wouldn’t the dinosaurs be included?  Man was created on the sixth day so this means both dinosaurs and man coexisted.  This is another fascinating truth.  Again, I explained that many scientists believe that dinosaurs existed by themselves and not with humans.

My oldest piped up and said, “Yeah, I know.  That’s what all my dinosaur books say.”

Then I posed the question, “If your dinosaur books said one thing and the Bible said another, what are we to believe?”

He promptly said, “The Bible is the only true book in the whole world so the Bible is right.”

I was so proud!  Even though I had expected him to tell me that the Bible was right, I certainly didn’t expect him to say that the Bible is the one true book in the whole world.  Ain’t this the truth?!!

I know some Christian parents are afraid to teach evolution or even have books with evolution idea in their home.  Even though I don’t subscribe to evolutionary theory, I believe we should teach our kids about it (as much as we should warn them about other false beliefs of the world around us).  We shouldn’t hide this from them because to do so, it’d be very shocking to their system should they learn it from somewhere else.  We shouldn’t be afraid of teaching or mentioning evolution because when we are diligent and faithful in teaching our children the ultimate truth, i.e., the Bible, they will see that anything that goes contrary to the truth in the Bible is not true.  We need not be afraid that we’ll have to “defend” the Bible — it can do a great job of it by itself.

I’m very glad to have such discussions with my children in our home school, and I hope to have more discussions of this sort in the future.

Rather than wallowing in depression, I’m reminded of God’s mercies being made new for each day:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

(Lamentations 3:22-23)

God is faithful and even though we mess up, his mercies are extended for another day to make amends.  Whether you’re feeling beaten down by your work, school, home life, or whatever, God’s mercies are renewed day by day.  This is the truth we can trust in.