As my children grow and increase in comprehension, I’m finding myself talking more and more to them about the gospel and how it relates to their disobedience.  Naturally, our discipline sessions get longer and longer.  Even though it’s quite time consuming and emotionally laborious, I truly believe it’s beneficial that my children know how the gospel relates to them in everyday life.

Recently I had a conversation with one of the kids.  Once again, an act of unkindness towards one of his siblings is manifested in tears and sadness so we sat down to talk.  I probed and asked questions trying to help him understand the reason behind his unkindness.  When such kind of questions are asked, the most favorite and easy answer is “I don’t know.”  Such an answer is not helpful and can be frustrating at times as I’m trying hard to seek to understand.  I’ve now made it a rule that an “I don’t know” answer is not allowed and so far it’s been working out quite well because it forces the child to think deeper.  I also allow time for the child to come up with an answer by communicating that I’m willing to sit and wait.  No matter how bad the answer may be, I want to know it.  There’s no need to sugar coat the answer.  Usually the child is able to come up with an answer.

Once we’ve got an answer, we can begin addressing the issue.  Sometimes I’m a bit taken back by the rawness of the answer (e.g., “I don’t like my sister”), but at the same time I am grateful for it because it tells me that the child is being honest with himself.  I’m learning to identify with my child in acknowledging that I too, struggle with the root issue of his conflict with this siblings.  As much as he is a sinner, so too, I’m a sinner who sins and can identify with him.  However, we don’t just stop here.  I point him to Christ and tell him that his unkind act tells him that he needs a Savior.  The good news is that Christ died for his sins.  We can look to Christ with hope.  Jesus’ magnitude of love and sacrifice for us should compel us to live a righteous life.  After such discussion, I pray for him.

Whenever my children need a disciplinary action, I want to remind them their need of the Savior and the gospel.  I really appreciate Tim Keller’s words about the gospel in The Reason for God, and I hope that you will dwell on it with a deep appreciation for Christ.

The Christian gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me.  This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time.  It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.

I’ve been reading Counsel From the Cross:  Connecting Broken People to the Love of Christ by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Dennis Johnson and have been treasuring many nuggets of teaching and wisdom from the book.  After discussing how we need the gospel and what Christ has accomplished on the cross, the authors explain ways how we can be more gospel-centered Christians.  They offer a sample prayer for the end of the day when you have failed to obey:

Father, please forgive my sin and cause me to walk in holiness.  Thank you that my sin reminds me again how desperately I need the cross and how thankful I am for your grace [emphasis mine].  Thank you that you love me despite my sin today and that you will use even this for your glory.  Lord Jesus, thank you that you bore those sins in your body on the tree.  Thank you for your love and grant me grace to obey because of it.  (p. 84)

I wrote this prayer on a 3×5 card so that I can go back to it daily as a reminder.  This prayer is very helpful for me because I do feel like a failure at the end of the day because I mess up so many times during the day.  By dinner time I’m simply exhausted and feel beat up by all the sins I’ve racked up.  I feel it quite keenly of late.  Rather than despairing, I am told to be thankful for the opportunity because it reminds me how much I need God and the mercy He has shown on the cross.  How glorious!  I hope that you’ll find this prayer encouraging and helpful in your Christian walk.

It seems like a non sequitur: polygons and God’s omnipotence.  But I assure you that these two distinctly different topics do relate, at least during our math lesson today.

For my 5 year old’s math lesson, he was asked to draw 3, 4, and 5 sided polygons.  He asked why he had to start out with a three sided polygon, and before I could answer him, my 7 year old told him that the reason is that there’s no such thing as a two-sided polygon.  Three-sided polygon is the smallest polygon.  My ever-so-knowing older son continued and said that even God can’t draw a two-sided polygon.  Hahahaha. . . he went.

Well, he was certainly right, but I decided to take a step further.  I simply couldn’t let this topic drop.  I proceeded to ask him a very difficult question.  If God is omnipotent, all-powerful, why can’t he draw a two-sided polygon?  My boy proceeded to show me that it’s impossible to draw it because in order for it to be a polygon, it has to have straight lines and they have to close up.  I concurred but pressed the question again.  Since God can’t do it, doesn’t this mean that he’s not all-powerful?  He answered no.  Whew!  I’m glad he answered no.  My boy went on to say that a two-sided polygon is impossible and God is still powerful.  I decided to drop my devil’s advocate persona and told him that he was absolutely right.  There is no such thing as a two-sided polygon because it simply doesn’t exist.  This does not prove nor demonstrate that God is not omnipotent.  Too often we set up our premises wrong and then draw the conclusion that God is not omnipotent.  Before we reject God’s attributes, we need to take a long hard look at our presuppositions and assumptions.

See? I told you polygons and God’s omnipotence relate.  I’m glad I had this conversation with my son.

Have you ever looked at your fellow saints and noted to yourself the following:

• I just don’t understand, why is he always late?
• Why is she so (over) sensitive?
• Why aren’t they opening up their home for Bible study?
• Why aren’t people reaching out to the newbies, strangers, or neighbors?
• Why isn’t he helping out?

I know I have.  And in many cases, our perceptions are correct: very often, others in the church are in fact falling short of God’s design for the life of the church.  They really are not serving with all their might.  They really are poor stewards of their time or money.  They really can be inhospitable.  The list goes on…

Yet, as I dwelt on this, I realized that quite often, those failings which most stand out to us correspond with those areas where we least struggle.  For example, how often does someone who’s poor at math point out others who are poor at math?  Likely never (except perhaps in seeking sympathy).  On the other hand, based on my experience, I’m a lot more likely to notice someone is poor in punctuality, if I am consistently and reliably on time.  Similarly, I notice (and feel free to criticize) the person who is sloppy in theology because I’m ever so careful in mine.

And suddenly, it came to me: I’ve become the self-righteous Pharisee that Jesus spoke of in Luke 18:

The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’

You know, that Pharisee wasn’t a bad guy.  He did, after all, fast twice a week, gave tithes.  Very admirable “faithful” follower of God.

I’m betting he was punctual and hospitable too.

And then, Jesus compared this “faithful” worshipper with the very tax collector that the Pharisee looked down on, and pronounced a very different judgment than the Pharisee would have ever expected.

But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Most of the time, we don’t think of ourselves as the Pharisee. But how easily we do think of ourselves like the Pharisee thought of himself.

We are not so blatant as to cast aspersions or to say, “I thank God that I am not like those others.”  But we so quickly think less of others based on their weaknesses — and it’s usually in areas we are strong.  Why?  Most of the time, I suspect the answer is that we are the Pharisee — whose instinct is to dwell on areas we have “got things right” rather than the countless areas of our lives that are tarnished by self and sin.

Yet God justifies the one whose only assessment of himself was the only one that mattered: “the sinner.”

What then?   Know your strengths.  Be thankful for God’s grace in those areas.  But the next time you or I start dwelling upon the flaws or shortcomings of a fellow believer (or even an unbeliever!), may we instead take careful inventory of those planks that are present in our own eyes before we attempt to (meekly, graciously, lovingly) pluck the specks out of others’ eyes.  May we frequently cry out, “Thank you God for your mercy to me, a wretched sinner!” instead of comparing our so-called righteousness against another’s deeds.  And may such habits result in more loving and edifying relationships, to the glory of His grace that is at work in us.

This post from Russell Moore provided me with an ever-needed reminder that I am ever in need of the gospel to draw my attention to my ever-present need for a Savior.  It is both theologically and rhetorically powerful. Here’s a couple of excerpts:

I find myself often drawn more to Bible Belt morality than to the gospel. When I go without prayer, I can still recognize the goodness of a just social order, a loving marriage, a stable community. But, when that happens, I don’t see myself as a sinner and, as a result, I don’t see God in Christ. I see God in myself. Unless I see myself in Christ and him crucified, I see God as, at the core, justice, not love, as solitary, not a Trinitarian community of love. When I forget about the gospel, I imagine that God is seeing me in terms of some cosmic scale of my good deeds and sins. That leads me to pride or despair. And it’s crypto-Koranic, not Christian.

…

I don’t want to bring in the reign of God with bombs or box cutters, but I sometimes want to do it with my words, with a well-crafted rebuke, or even with my keyboard. Every time I do such, I act as though my God is a capricious, blood-thirsty idol who is sending me into the world to condemn instead of save it — instead of a loving Father who sent his Son into the world to save it instead of condemn it (Jn. 3:17).

Read the whole thing…

I had an epiphany recently while listening to a workshop about a wife’s submission and a helper to her husband.  I don’t know how I’ve missed this wonderful revelation for so long.

After God created Adam, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’”  (Genesis 2:18)  Eve was created to be a helper, suitable for Adam.

Whenever I think of the word “helper,” the word “assistant” comes to mind.  In the corporate world, an assistant is merely an assistant, someone who’s been given assignments or tasks to do by her superior who she has no authority of her own except to do what she’s been instructed.  When a company wants to roll out the next promising product, an assistant is not called upon to handle such project.  Rather, the most promising executive is called upon to handle such task.  In the same manner, I find that women tend to have the same view when thinking about being a helper as designed by God.  We have a low view of being named a helper.  Yet contrary to what we may think or feel, this is not the case.

The Hebrew word for “helper” is ezer which means help or support.  While this meaning doesn’t exude much significance at the moment, my epiphany came about when I learned that the same word, ezer, is also used to describe God as our help.  Some examples in the Bible of this use include:

1 Samuel 7:12 – Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer; for he said, “Till now the LORD has helped us.”

God helped the Israelites defeat the Philistines in a time of distress and discouragement, and as a symbol of God’s help, Samuel erected a stone called Ebenezer (which means “stone of help”).  Notice the ezer in Ebenezer? Samuel thus declared the Lord had helped them.

Psalm 54:4  – Behold, God is my helper;  the Lord is the upholder of my life.

Psalm 28:7 – The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Knowing the same word, ezer, is used to describe God as our helper, do we still have a low view of being helpers to our husbands?  I should hope not!  As helpers, we help out of strength, not weakness.  We certainly don’t see God as an assistant; and neither should we (or our husbands) view the role of wives as mere assistants.  We are called to help our husbands not because they need someone to fulfill menial tasks, but because God saw that the first man needed help to fulfill God’s perfect purposes for him.

A few days ago, I posted about an article in Leadership Journal which asked the question, “Is the era of age segmentation over [in the church]?”

The article raised a number of very important questions, and raised concerns about the prevailing model of “youth ministry” which by and large relies upon professionals (e.g., youth pastors) and ministries/programs for the discipleship of young people in the church.  To the degree such a mainstream journal (published by Christianity Today) strongly advocated the increase of multi-generational discipleship, and encouraged adults in the church to befriend youth; it was a refreshing and helpful article.

Voddie Baucham Ministries recently published a response by Matthew Hudson to the article.  The author takes a few moments to offer praise where praise is due, giving credit to where the underlying researchers have brought out crucial insights.  For example:

A particular strength of the interview is the recognition of the value of multi-generational life and conversation. Dr. Powell frequently cites examples of the value of encouraging teens to take part in the larger community. The kind of relationships commended in Titus 2 are encouraged and lauded in story after story of parents, pastors, and church members being encouraged for the first time to make a more intentional investment in the lives of teens.

And:

Another highlight is the encouragement to have high expectations of young adults. Through their study, they discerned that one thing that even students themselves recognize is missing in modern youth ministry is serious thought and deep discussion. Instead, games have too high a priority for many student ministries.

However, Hudson considers where the researchers may have fallen short, and it is a crucial area:

Yet, while they were laboring to answer these critical questions, there was one question they never asked. Not once was it asked whether or not God has had anything to say about how and by whom the discipleship of the next generation should take place.

While this may seem harsh, or nitpicky, I think this consideration is critical.  Even as the researchers thought about better ways to disciple children, much of their conclusions seem to be drawn on “what works” (pragmatism) rather than what God’s Word has to say about ministering across generations.  Conspicuously absent from the article is any reference to Scripture, and in particular Titus 2:3-6 in its clear implications on multi-generational discipleship:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled.

If we are to respond to the “crisis” among youth, and to do so in a Biblical fashion,with Hudson I’d agree that there’s something amiss if all we are advocating is pragmatic ways to get a message across.  What if, for example, multi-generational ministry weren’t demonstrably more effective?  Would Dr. Powell still be an advocate?  Wasn’t the current trend in very activity-oriented, peer-centered children/youth ministry driven by the exact same fundamental philosophy of pragmatism than Scriptural direction?

To take it a step further, even if we “happen” to start involving other generations in the discipleship of our youth — how can we be certain that we are discipling them in the right direction?  Again, apart from the divine guidance of Titus 2, how likely are we to think that discipling young teenage girls means  preparing them to be young women who are “to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands?”  I think the answer is fairly clear.  Far more likely is trying to teach young women to be strong in Bible knowledge (good), faithful witnesses (good), and yet completely devoid of instruction in the primary sphere of most of these women just 10-15 years later, and for the remainder of their lives!

Hudson also raises another important absent from Powell’s conclusions:

One of the most interesting responses was to the question, “What is the parents’ role in this intergenerational vision?”.  The answer given was noticeably missing any reference to the biblical role of a father as the primary discipler of his children. There was no biblical vision, no real hope. Instead, Powell suggests parents should simply talk more with their kids about church, with the new research suggesting letting the kids talk first. Talking more is a great first step, no question. But, someone needs to own the responsibility for instructing and training these young adults–for casting a great big vision of a great big God to them! I submit that the scriptures name that person. (cf. Dt. 6, Ps. 78, 127, 128, Proverbs, Isa. 61.9, Eph. 6, 2 Tm. 3.14-15)

As a father of five young children, I would absolutely echo this thought.  If parents, and especially fathers, are not undertaking great effort to disciple their children in the faith; then the best the church can offer is to overcome the negative effect of unfaithful parenting/fathering.  The most important element in rearing youth in the church to love Jesus, is parents who love Jesus and strive in every possible way to convey that love to their children!  Not merely restructing “youth ministry” in the church to accomodate and encourage multi-generational relationships.

I’d encourage you to read Hudson’s article in full.  He has valuable insights.  I find myself encouraged by the original article, don’t mistake my follow-up as cynical or critical.  But Hudson raises additional points that are important if believers are to see true lasting change in the church with respect to removing the barriers of age & life-stage segmentation in the church in order to fulfill God’s commands in Titus 2 and beyond.