My boys and I have been enjoying playing Set, a card game of visual perception.  Cards are categorized by color, shading, shape, and number.  A ‘Set’ consists of three cards in which each feature is EITHER the same on each card OR is different on each card.  Sounds a bit confusing, eh?  Well, fear not, here’s an online tutorial to get you started.

I secretly bought this game to help my kids work their brains, but as a result, my brain got a workout too.  I’m quite nerdy this way.  I only like games that make you think, but not too hard.  My 7-year-old is quite good at it and he’s beating me these days.  Even my five-year-old is catching up and beating me.  They have a knack for it.  They see things better than I can.  Maybe it’s because my brain is more clogged with other stuff than theirs.  At least my math skills are still better, but I wonder how long it’ll last.  I take comfort in that they feel sorry for me by encouraging me and praising me when I can’t find a ‘Set’.  Ahhhh. . . . my boys. . . I love them though it’s rather embarrassing at times, but I don’t mind.

I just finished reading two children’s stories, Jessica’s First Prayer and Jessica’s Mother by Hesba Stretton to my children.  I can’t help but marvel at how wonderfully these two stories convey the realities of life.  In Jessica’s First Prayer, a poor street girl name Jessica befriends a coffee stall owner (i.e., a “barista” in our Starbucks world) and learns about God.  In the sequel, Jessica’s Mother, Jessica tells her wretched mother about God.

We live in an age where the world appears to be growing increasingly hostile to God and glorify things and behaviors that are immoral.  In order to counter such reality, some have taken steps to republish and/or publish books that are of good morals and devoid of any bad content.  This, of course, is done with good intentions.  However, I have a problem with it: these kind of books don’t seem real to me.  The fictitious world remains fictitious, like a mere fairy tale, and does not seem to bear any likeness to the real world.  In contrast, the stories I’ve been reading, though fictitious, speak so much truth and the realities of the world because the author was willing to write about the difficulties of life, hardness of heart, vileness of humanity, death, abuse, etc.  As a matter of fact, according to Wikipedia, the author of the books was one of the founders of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children in 1884, and worked to eliminate child abuse and poverty.

My children have no misunderstanding when it comes to right and wrong, good and bad when listening to these two books.  I am careful to pick out books that have good content and teaches eternal and Biblical values.  I do not shy away from good books that discuss difficulties in life because they accurately depict the world as it is, perhaps more vividly than my children might otherwise experience living where we do.

Another book that I absolutely adore is Teddy’s Button by Amy Le Feuvre.  This story is about a little boy name Teddy who is mischievous, naughty, and hostile to a new girl name Nancy in the community.  The verbal mud slinging exchange between Teddy and Nancy is something we wish our own children would never utter.  Yet why do I like it?  Because it’s a very accurate depiction of children and their falleness.  The story does not end here.  Teddy becomes saved and now he has a battle in his mind and heart where he must defeat his bad self.  As he goes through spiritual transformation, we see his heart softens towards Nancy whom he once deemed as the most hated person in his life.  I love this story!  Books that tell the realities of life are heartwarming to me.

Note: The full text of Jessica’s First Prayer is available online.  However, I strongly prefer actual books that I can hold, especially for reading to the children, and both of the “Jessica” stories can be purchased in one paperback volume.

Parenting books are a dime a dozen.

I’ve got easily a shelf full of ‘em.

And every one I’ve got is useful to one degree or another.

So why another one?  Or more specifically, what does William Farley’s new book, Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting,  add to an already full plate of literature seeking to expound on how to raise my children?

I’m pleased to say, plenty.  In particular, Gospel-Powered Parenting provides a very thorough framework for how to think about parenting before it proceeds to advise on how to actually do it!  The thing is, most parenting books I’ve read focus on either providing a philosophy of parenting or a list of “best practices” for parenting.  But scant few of them spend much time talking about who we are as parents and who (or what) our children are (spoiler: we are all sinners ever in need of the gospel).  Thus, whether they focus on philosophy or practice, most parenting books simply focus on the task of parenting, and assume we already know what should motivate us as parents and what our goals should be.  This book does not make those assumptions.

Instead, the author takes great pains to first establish a groundwork for understanding the gospel, for his thesis is that the heart of Biblical parenting are the premises and power of the gospel.  The first half of the book, then, is spent on covering key Biblical teachings, rooted in the gospel, about God, man, sin and family.  In particular, his emphasis on cultivating a fear of God, the problem of sin, and the power of the gospel are absolutely essential to starting off on the right foot as a parent.

Beyond this foundation, Farley continues with some very insightful and even potentially controversial exhortations as to what is needed for faithful parenting.  He spends an entire chapter laying down a persuasive case from both Scripture and modern statistics of the critical and primary role of the father in setting a trajectory for where his children will go spiritually.  While some of what he says may seem controversial, I think the data he references is convincing.  In short, he points out that Western culture, up until the mid-20th century, assumed that the main parent was the father (“Father Knows Best” was a popular TV show in the 50s), and the mother was assistant (though not any less important) to father.  According to Farley, those roles have been reversed, and not for better.  He also suggests a strong connection between the weakness of the church in cultivating and encouraging Biblical masculinity — to which men who are fathers would be drawn — and the decline in passing on the faith to future generations.  Both of these themes are good food for thought, especially for men who want to be challenged to examine whether they’re fulfilling their God-given calling as fathers for their children (including me!).

The author then touches on how the gospel should shape how we discipline our children as well as how it should move us to lavish affection on them.  He offers the perspective that, in the gospel, we can see God’s hatred of sin, his mercy toward sinners, his love toward His children, and so on; and how that should affect how we as parents approach parenting (with humility and dependence on God, in the fear of God), as well as how it should shape how we view our children.  He convincingly points out that our culture today is committed to an utterly unbiblical assumption that people (and especially children) are “basically good,” which is completely contradicted by Scripture’s indictment of all of us as “sheep who have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.”  Again, here, how we think about ourselves and our children will affect how we parent; and Farley does a great job making that connection.

Lastly, I was encouraged by how he reminds how essential it is that we as parents own up to God’s calling on us to be the primary spiritual instructors of our children, not simply relying on church ministries or professional Christian educators to do so.  His acknowledgment of his own past failings and mistakes served to encourage me that our goal as parents isn’t to be perfect saints who have all the answers and never mess up, but to be a living example of the power and hope of the gospel to our children.  As he puts it, he is convinced that his acknowledgments of weakness and transparent dependence on God through his parenting contributed far more to lead his children to Christ than all his “meager virtues” combined.

With all the books on parenting available to Christians, I rank this among the top few that has helped to refresh my vision for parenting my children for Christ.  While there are other books which provide more detail on specific ideas for training, this one has both refreshed my sense of vision and provided guidance for future practice.  It is one I will return to again and again for its highlighting of the wonder and power of the gospel for faithful, Biblical parenting.  My review only touches the surface of his well thought out and thoroughly pastoral counsel on integrating the gospel into our parenting.  Buy it.  Read it.  I highly recommend it.

Note: Tim Challies interviewed the author and posted on his blog here.

I’m excited to let all you moms with little ones who can’t blow their noses know that I’ve found the perfect product to help your kiddos breath when they have runny noses.  Thanks to a dear friend who introduced us to NoseFrida, also known as the “Snotsucker.”   In our family, we prefer the term snotsucker.  What is a NoseFrida anyway?  It just doesn’t ring with our goofy bunch.  The Snotsucker!  Now, that’s a name that sticks!

So, what exactly is it?  It’s an expensive and simple little device ($16.99 at our local Whole Foods Store) that helps you suck (not beat) the snot out of your kid.  You simply put the tip of the tube at your child’s nostril, and you use your mouth to suck the snot out.  Yes, it truly sounds gross and it is gross.  BUT!  It works wonders and my child doesn’t cry when I aspirate her.  No, your child’s snot won’t end up in your mouth.  There’s a little foam filter that prevents you from inhaling your child’s snot.

When we had our first baby, the hospital sent us home with a bulb syringe.  Being new parents we had no idea what a bulb syringe does except to squirt water for fun.  When our child got his first cold and had constant runny nose, we discovered the wonders of the bulb syringe.  Soon enough we discovered a downside.  Whenever we bust out the bulb syringe, the baby cried like there’s no tomorrow.  The more he cried, the more worked up he got, and the more snot he got.  That was a bad cycle.  Well, with the Snotsucker our child doesn’t freak out anymore.  I can just suck the snot out while she stands.  I no longer have to manhandle the child to get her to cooperate.  Whooo hooo. . . Yes, the Snotsucker!  We love it.

If you want to know more, here are the FAQs.

We recently finished O. F. Walton’s Saved at Sea during our morning read aloud time, and I’m very happy to report that this an excellent book.  I love it as much as the kids did.  This is a story of a young boy name Alec and his grandfather living on a lonely island taking care of the lighthouse.  The duo’s lives were typically lonely and unexciting, but their lives were changed when they rescued a little girl from a sinking ship.

The book moves quickly from chapter to chapter which makes the story captivating and exciting.  My children thoroughly enjoyed this book, and once again, to my surprise, they understood the story more than I’d imagined.

When an old gentleman visited Alec and his grandfather on the island and asked what kind of foundation their house was built on, Alec answered it was built on a solid rock.  Then the old gentleman inquired again, “And are you on the rock, my lad?” (p. 56)  Alec didn’t quite understand what the old gentleman was getting at so Alec repeated his previous answer and reaffirmed the guest that their house was indeed built on a solid rock.  The old gentleman thus asked again, “But you, are you on the rock?” At this point my eldest stood up and said, “He’s talking about Christ the solid rock!”  Upon hearing that, my second born said, “I know how to sing that song!” and immediately started humming the tune.  I was so pleasantly surprised.  I love the fact that the gospel message is woven into the story and how Alec and his grandfather came to know the saving grace of our Lord Jesus Christ.  The lyrics for the hymn The Solid Rock is included in the back of the book with several pages of explanation.

Note: At the time of reading, the ages of my children are 6 1/2, 4 1/2, 4, 2 1/4, and 3 months.

P.S. The text of the book, with illustrations, is also available online for free in various formats.

I just finished reading Mary Jones and Her Bible by Mary Ropes to the kids during our morning read aloud time.  This book is about a little Welsh girl who lived 200 years ago.  The Word of God was more precious than anything to Mary Jones.  But she did not possess her own copy of the Scriptures.  So for six years, she took on odd jobs to earn money, and then finally walked 25 miles to the nearest seller of Welsh bibles to procure her own copy.

The story isn’t exciting and full of adventures like the last book we read (The Golden Thread).  It simply tells the account of a little girl and her desire to have a Bible of her own.  I couldn’t help but be so enthralled by Mary’s determined plan to get a Bible despite numerous obstacles along the way.  If only we, the more privileged ones in this century, had the same mindset as Mary Jones.  In fact, her story inspired the eventual founding of the British and Foreign Bible Society.

My children loved this book and already I have seen the influence this book has had on my boys.  My oldest told me that he wanted to earn the $5 he’s supposed to bring for his AWANA club in order to help start AWANA clubs in third world countries.  He went on to say that Mary Jones took on many side jobs in order to earn money to buy a Bible, so he wanted to do chores around the house to earn the $5 for his AWANA club.  This was his idea and naturally, I was so encouraged by my boy’s determination.

My second boy told me that he wanted to learn how to read so he can go to AWANA next year.  This again came from Mary Jones’ example.  Mary was a poor little girl and didn’t know how to read.  Because of her desire to have a Bible of her own, Mary was diligent and used her time wisely in learning how to read.  My little boy was inspired by Mary’s example.  He was once reluctant in doing his phonics lessons, but nowadays he’s more diligent and more willing to read.

When a book inspires the little ones towards the Lord, I know I’ve got a good book and it’s definitely a keeper.  So, without reservation, I heartily recommend this book.

I just finished Rick Horne’s book Get Outta My Face: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens With Biblical Counsel.  With a title like that, how can you not like it?  I just love that title because any parents with an angry teen knows exactly what “get outta my face” looks like.  I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone with an angry teen in the house.  My blog readers know that all my children are young and I don’t have a teenager in the house yet, let alone angry teenagers.  However, I find the principles in this books to be beneficial even as I parent my little ones.  I really appreciate this book because not only does Rick Horne’s 30+ years of counseling and parenting experience show clearly in the book, the principles and solutions he laid out in the book are very Biblical.

The book is divided into three parts:

Part I: What you must understand to connect with your teen

In this section the parents are called to seek first God’s glory as they parent their teens.  The parents are also encouraged to examine their own sins and failures so to remove the logs in their own eyes.

Part II: What you must do to help your teen

Here Rick Horne discusses the acronym LCLP which gives the parents a plan on how to communicate and help their teens.

Listen Big – to build a bridge to your teen

Clarify Narrow – to expose the realities of your teen’s experience

Look Wide – to discover your teen’s solutions

Plan Small – to support changes your teen wants

Part III:   How to make the changes stick

After the parents helped their teens change, they need to encourage follow-up conversations.  Most importantly, parents are to point their children to the cross.  Mere outward behavioral change is not the goal, but a heart change that’s from the inside out.

I am much encouraged by this book and I believe it gives real gospel-grounded hope to parents with angry teens.  One of the key strengths of this book is the presentation of concrete techniques for parents to implement that are grounded in Biblical principles.  Far from merely giving a theoretical theology of parenting, Horne manages to intertwine sound Biblical underpinnings with real and specific tools for any parent looking to more effectively parent his or her teen-aged child.   And most helpful of all Rick Horne’s repeated theme of looking to Jesus Christ in our failures, problems, and sins.  If you are a parent with any children still living in your home, you should read this book!