In a blog post today, Nancy Wilson offers some real world insights, no doubt based on her experiences as a friend and pastor’s wife, on some of the contradictions that she has observed in younger women who express a desire to be married and yet remain single. Both Lois and I appreciated her honesty and insights, and would encourage both men and women who are single to take a look and see what wisdom they might glean. Among her interesting observations:
- Marriage requires a kind of death. Though this is required for both husband and wife, the wife dies in a unique way. She takes a new name, and she has a new calling. This is what scares some women off, despite their desire for marriage and children.
- Another snare lies in the whole concept of falling in love. Hollywood is not a trustworthy instructor in how to conduct a relationship. Yet many of our assumptions about love come from Cinderella and all her descendants.
- A woman is free to marry whomever she likes, so long as it is in the Lord. If he is a Christian, a woman is free to marry him. Or not. She doesn’t have to have lofty reasons for saying no. She can say no because she doesn’t like his nose or his taste in music. She is a free woman. But she ought to at least consider some of these things I’ve mentioned, in case she is exercising her freedom in a way even she would say is contradictory: “He’s everything I want, and yet I don’t want.”