Such was the first of numerous suggestions to parents of rebellious children from Abraham Piper, who at age 19 decided to reject the faith of his parents, Pastor John and Noel Piper.  And why did he reject the faith?  As he puts it in this article in “Decision” magazine, “to drink gallons of cheap sangria and sleep around.”  He shares in brief how he left the faith, to the heartbreak of his parents; but returned four years later, by God’s grace.  And he offers a number of suggestions for parents who are suffering the same heartbreak and still waiting for their children to return to Christ.

For me, his suggestions also spoke volumes about parenting any child, including my own who are all under eight years old right now.  Here’s the full text of his first (and most important) word of advice:

1. Point them to Christ.
Your rebellious child’s real problem is not drugs or sex or cigarettes or porn or laziness or crime or cussing or slovenliness or homosexuality or being in a punk band. The real problem is that your child doesn’t see Jesus clearly. The best thing you can do for rebellious children—and the only reason to follow any of these suggestions—is to show them Christ. It won’t be simple or immediate, but the sins in their life that distress you and destroy them will begin to disappear only when they see Jesus more as He actually is.

Simply reading that paragraph made me realize how easy it is for me as a Christian parent to focus on obedience, kindness, behavior, heart motives… and point a child merely at himself instead of the Savior.  And absent a growing love for the Savior, that even the best of this is but legalism and self-righteousness (and death!).  But if I can faithfully, continually point my child to Christ, then by God’s grace, he will be transformed and those very actions I desire will come in due time.

Read the whole thing.