This is a continuation from my previous post. . . .

Q:  Have you thought about peer-to-peer socialization for your children?

Yes, a lot!  I have much to say specifically about socialization.  Putting children in traditional school isn’t the only way to get socialization.  Children can socialize with other children through church functions, sports, clubs, family gatherings, etc.  As for our family, we feel the local church community to be a crucial environment for socialization for our children.

Peer-to-peer socialization isn’t the healthiest form of socialization because based on my observation, many peer dominated groups tend not to be able to interact with people outside of their age.  Socialization is defined by one’s ability to interact with the society, which is made up of people of different ages.  Being in an age segregated group is not real life because much of our lives require that we interact with other age groups.  I find that most people have a difficult time integrating in their church and work upon graduation because they had just spent their entire life in an age segregated environment, i.e. school.

As we think about socialization, I want my children to be able to interact with people of all ages.  Even though our children’s ages range from 1 – 7.5  years, the people they interact with on a regular basis are men and women in their 20′s.   They also have friends of their age too.

Q.  What role does your husband have in your home school?

He is the principal and my substitute teacher.  Even though he doesn’t know all the kids’ schooling in detail, he’s very aware of where they’re at academically.  Whenever I need to be away, he’s able to step in and help teach a lesson or two.  He also goes on field trips with us.  He’s a very involved dad who often dispenses insights, teachings, and comments throughout the day.

Q.  How do you teach children of all ages at the same time?

The first thing we do is circle time where everyone gathers in a circle to start the school day.  Currently we’re doing history and Chinese in our circle time.  Afterward, the oldest two remained at the table to do additional school work.  The youngest three are free to play in the same room.  I don’t send them away because I don’t want them to mess around in another room where I can’t keep an eye on them.  In addition, I want them to be in the same room so they can hear the lessons being taught even though they’re not active participant.  Kids pick up things more than we give them credit for.  By having them in the same room also conveys to them that they are important to me and that I don’t want to send them away.

Of course the younger kids can be a distraction while I teach the older ones.  In such case, I tell them to lower their voices or go to the opposite corner away from us to play quietly.  If both scenarios fail, I tell them to sit quietly and read.  The younger ones are non-readers so they “read” by flipping pages and looking at all the pictures.

These were all the questions that were asked by the group.  If you have other questions, let me know and I’d be happy to answer them to the best of my ability.

Recently, I was asked to be part of a schooling options panel at a mom’s group at a friend’s church.  It was great sharing with this small group about why I chose homeschooling.  I think it’s beneficial to put some of the questions here so that those who are curious about homeschooling may find my answers helpful.

How did you decide this schooling option was best for your children?

There are three reasons why we chose to homeschool:

1. A Natural Means of Discipleship: Our first priority as parents is making them disciples of Jesus; so we chose the schooling option that we felt was the most natural way to contribute to that goal.  In other words, for us, homeschooling as an extension of discipleship – teaching them both “academic subjects” and Biblical wisdom: the fear of the Lord.
2. Custom-Tailored Education: We can customize education for each child.  If the child is advanced, I can accelerate the program.  If the child is slower than “average,” they’ll never know it, because I’ll move at their pace.  If the child has a special need, I can slow down and not have the child be labeled or stigmatized as he/she might be in a traditional school.
3. Cultivating a Love for Learning: It allows us to provide a broader education for our children and integrate learning into all of life.  Schooling is not limited to merely ABCs and arithmetic, but things like practical skills, and learning everywhere we go (even on vacation).  It helps us to cultivate in our children a love for learning in all of life.

What are the joys and challenges with this type of schooling for your children and for you as a parent?

Joy for me:

• I’m learning together with my child
• I know exactly what their educational needs are
• I’m always there to shape their character
• I love seeing the fact that they love to learn and that their minds are always hungry

Joy for the kids:

• They become very creative because of the relaxed environment
• They love to learn and are motivated
• They aren’t confined to classroom learning for the better part of a day.  Formal “sit-down” learning usually doesn’t last more than an hour or two per day for grade-school children.  My “no sitting down” requirement is very appealing for my boys.

Challenges for me:

• Homeschooling is very time consuming
• Multi-tasking with different ages, esp. young ones who are pre-school, can be a challenge; in addition to having to keep a home.

What are your goals and dreams for your children and how does this schooling option help to fulfill those dreams?

Our overriding goal is for them to know and love God, and to live to their fullest potential for Him.  Homeschooling gives us the opportunity to integrate training them in academics with training them in the Lord.  And of all schooling options, home education affords us the most time to learn what our children are like, so as to best direct them for their future decisions, vocations, etc.  Homeschooling is an excellent way to fulfill our goals because we are always together helping, training, and shaping their souls.

More to come. . . .

Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, recently made available a number of his sermons free of charge.  I’ve been listening to his sermons on my iPod while washing dishes, cleaning the house, and driving.  I’ve been very much blessed by Keller’s insights, encouragement, and teaching.  So, feel free to download and listen.

It’s hard to believe that my baby just turned one.  It seemed like yesterday that she entered the world with much drama and shock.  It’s been a wonderful year with our sweet Bethany and I look forward to many more years with her.

Here’s the highlight of her birthday celebration today:

Bethany wearing her princess hat:

Bethany opening a present:

While we were busy chatting with our guests, Bethany pulled up on the coffee table and helped herself to someone else’s cake.  Sugar makes her very happy!

Parenting books are a dime a dozen.

I’ve got easily a shelf full of ‘em.

And every one I’ve got is useful to one degree or another.

So why another one?  Or more specifically, what does William Farley’s new book, Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting,  add to an already full plate of literature seeking to expound on how to raise my children?

I’m pleased to say, plenty.  In particular, Gospel-Powered Parenting provides a very thorough framework for how to think about parenting before it proceeds to advise on how to actually do it!  The thing is, most parenting books I’ve read focus on either providing a philosophy of parenting or a list of “best practices” for parenting.  But scant few of them spend much time talking about who we are as parents and who (or what) our children are (spoiler: we are all sinners ever in need of the gospel).  Thus, whether they focus on philosophy or practice, most parenting books simply focus on the task of parenting, and assume we already know what should motivate us as parents and what our goals should be.  This book does not make those assumptions.

Instead, the author takes great pains to first establish a groundwork for understanding the gospel, for his thesis is that the heart of Biblical parenting are the premises and power of the gospel.  The first half of the book, then, is spent on covering key Biblical teachings, rooted in the gospel, about God, man, sin and family.  In particular, his emphasis on cultivating a fear of God, the problem of sin, and the power of the gospel are absolutely essential to starting off on the right foot as a parent.

Beyond this foundation, Farley continues with some very insightful and even potentially controversial exhortations as to what is needed for faithful parenting.  He spends an entire chapter laying down a persuasive case from both Scripture and modern statistics of the critical and primary role of the father in setting a trajectory for where his children will go spiritually.  While some of what he says may seem controversial, I think the data he references is convincing.  In short, he points out that Western culture, up until the mid-20th century, assumed that the main parent was the father (“Father Knows Best” was a popular TV show in the 50s), and the mother was assistant (though not any less important) to father.  According to Farley, those roles have been reversed, and not for better.  He also suggests a strong connection between the weakness of the church in cultivating and encouraging Biblical masculinity — to which men who are fathers would be drawn — and the decline in passing on the faith to future generations.  Both of these themes are good food for thought, especially for men who want to be challenged to examine whether they’re fulfilling their God-given calling as fathers for their children (including me!).

The author then touches on how the gospel should shape how we discipline our children as well as how it should move us to lavish affection on them.  He offers the perspective that, in the gospel, we can see God’s hatred of sin, his mercy toward sinners, his love toward His children, and so on; and how that should affect how we as parents approach parenting (with humility and dependence on God, in the fear of God), as well as how it should shape how we view our children.  He convincingly points out that our culture today is committed to an utterly unbiblical assumption that people (and especially children) are “basically good,” which is completely contradicted by Scripture’s indictment of all of us as “sheep who have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.”  Again, here, how we think about ourselves and our children will affect how we parent; and Farley does a great job making that connection.

Lastly, I was encouraged by how he reminds how essential it is that we as parents own up to God’s calling on us to be the primary spiritual instructors of our children, not simply relying on church ministries or professional Christian educators to do so.  His acknowledgment of his own past failings and mistakes served to encourage me that our goal as parents isn’t to be perfect saints who have all the answers and never mess up, but to be a living example of the power and hope of the gospel to our children.  As he puts it, he is convinced that his acknowledgments of weakness and transparent dependence on God through his parenting contributed far more to lead his children to Christ than all his “meager virtues” combined.

With all the books on parenting available to Christians, I rank this among the top few that has helped to refresh my vision for parenting my children for Christ.  While there are other books which provide more detail on specific ideas for training, this one has both refreshed my sense of vision and provided guidance for future practice.  It is one I will return to again and again for its highlighting of the wonder and power of the gospel for faithful, Biblical parenting.  My review only touches the surface of his well thought out and thoroughly pastoral counsel on integrating the gospel into our parenting.  Buy it.  Read it.  I highly recommend it.

Note: Tim Challies interviewed the author and posted on his blog here.

I don’t know the particulars, as far as patterns, seams, needles and thread.

But my wife is amazing.  I’m not sure, but think she designed and sewed this thing from her own imagination.

(UPDATE: she didn’t design it, see comments.  But still, pretty amazed am I.)

Check it out.