There are many wonderful nuggets of wisdom from Rick Horne’s book Get Outta My Face!, and one of which is the importance of presentation when speaking to angry teens.  When parents have wisdom to impart to their children, they need to consider not only the content of their message, but the fashion in which it’s presented.  Horne alludes to an episode of the 80′s sitcom “The Cosby Show,” in which Dr. Huxtable goes to great lengths to describe a mouth-watering steak, only to conclude with, “and I give it to you on [a garbage can] lid…” (view clip here).  Would you want to eat that?  Of course not.  As Dr. Huxtable puts it, “It’s in the presentation!”  So Horne takes the point of that dialogue: even though the steak dinner is appetizing — or parental counsel wise — it doesn’t seem appetizing at all when its presented in a disgusting or unattractive fashion.  In other words, when parents are not careful with the way they present their counsel, their children will likely dismiss it out of hand because it is “packaged” in a way that causes them not to want to listen (for example, with raised volume and angry tones, the verbal equivalent of a garbage can lid for a plate).

I’ve been pondering on this topic for a while now and I’m in total agreement that we must present our counsel well to our children.  This gets our foot in the door.  As I interact with my children, I’m becoming more and more aware of the way I communicate with them.  Am I presenting my counsel in an appetizing fashion?  Do I expect them to accept my words of wisdom even when I’m dispensing them through harsh tones or anger?  Are they encouraged or discouraged by my presentation?  May there always be grace and tenderness accompanying our words to our children, that they be more likely to heed them.

The wise of heart is called discerning,
and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
~ Proverbs 16:21 ~