The title of this entry could just as well have been “Waiting for Miss Right.” But in our day and age, with so many young men deferring marriage until they’re “set” — or simply because they’ve not yet grown up — it seems there are a lot more young women wondering, “Where have all the good men gone?”
That’s the impetus behind this next-to-last post in our intermittent series on relationships (in the last post, we hope to cover a bit on key principles while in a relationship). And for this, we’d like to refer to some wise advice from (unmarried) author Lydia Brownback from her devotional book Trust. In particular, she has a chapter titled “Good in Every Way” in which she speaks to this question of waiting for God’s provision with respect to this very heartfelt desire. Below are a few key thoughts; the chapter in its entirety can be viewed online here at Crossway’s website.
Most of the single women I have known over the years have desired to be married. They have prayed long and hard for God’s provision of a mate, and surely many of those prayers have been answered with godly marriages… Others seem not to have received any answer at all to that prayer. As the years go on, their discontentment lingers and their anxiety increases. Oh, they recognize God’s blessings in their lives–great jobs, lots of friends, good churches–but they just can’t get past the fear that their chances for having a family of their own are growing dimmer by the year…
Perhaps you are struggling with your marital status… The reason we remain anxious and caught in unhappy limbo is not because we are lacking something we need–it is because we aren’t trusting God. And the reason we aren’t trusting him, although we may not recognize it, is because deep down in our hearts we don’t really believe God is being good to us in allowing us to linger where we are…
God always has our best in mind, and he works to bring it about, no matter how it may look initially to our way of thinking. We can trust him.
As emotional as I can imagine being single can be, having friends who didn’t get married until their early 40s, and others who remain single past that age, Brownback is right. How you respond emotionally is ultimately tied to what you truly believe is going on. Do you believe that the right now is exactly what He wants for you? Or do you imagine that He’s got something good for you down the road, but now ain’t so hot? If the latter, your response will not be trust, but fear and anxiety.
If you’re in this situation, may the Lord grant you grace to understand His providence, believe in His goodness, and trust in His wisdom and love for you!