Comments on: Speaking Charitably of Your Children in Public http://dinghome.net/2008/09/01/speaking-charitably-of-your-children-in-public/ Reflections, stories, and thoughts from us. Exciting! Tue, 08 May 2012 15:16:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Lois http://dinghome.net/2008/09/01/speaking-charitably-of-your-children-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-15517 Lois Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:40:57 +0000 http://dinghome.net/2008/09/01/speaking-charitably-of-your-children-in-public/#comment-15517 Stacy, Your first comment about sharing privately of your struggles with a friend is what I'd encourage. Sometimes we feel we're the only one dealing with a particular problem so we feel quite alone in our parenting journey. However, when we can share private with another person, it's a great opportunity for both people to be encouraged and help each other along the way. Regarding your second comment, I have to say that at times I've been guilty of affirming a stranger's comment that I have my hands full and that life for me must be super crazy. When I do that the message I convey is that my children are bothersome and that they're not a blessing. Thanks for the reminder and I'll be sure say something that will honor the kids next time the comment comes up. Stacy,
Your first comment about sharing privately of your struggles with a friend is what I’d encourage. Sometimes we feel we’re the only one dealing with a particular problem so we feel quite alone in our parenting journey. However, when we can share private with another person, it’s a great opportunity for both people to be encouraged and help each other along the way.

Regarding your second comment, I have to say that at times I’ve been guilty of affirming a stranger’s comment that I have my hands full and that life for me must be super crazy. When I do that the message I convey is that my children are bothersome and that they’re not a blessing. Thanks for the reminder and I’ll be sure say something that will honor the kids next time the comment comes up.

]]> By: Stacy http://dinghome.net/2008/09/01/speaking-charitably-of-your-children-in-public/comment-page-1/#comment-15506 Stacy Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:50:00 +0000 http://dinghome.net/2008/09/01/speaking-charitably-of-your-children-in-public/#comment-15506 I just love your blog! This post makes me want to offer two comments. First - I wholeheartedly agree about loving our children and remembering to build them up and not tear them down. Publically or otherwise. That being said, until about 18 months ago, I felt terrible about some of my children's bad habits. I didn't speak of them to others out of respect for my kids. But they still did tear me up at times. One day a close friend shared one of her own child's revolting habits AND I WAS TRULY BLESSED BY IT! This conversation occurred in a loving and confidential way and she and I have been able to talk to each other about these things and even pray for one another's children. The other comment - which is sort of related - has to do with comments we receive in public. I "only" have four kids. But that is still 1.something more than the average family. Almost inevitably, on every shopping visit, my children and I get a "wow, you have your handsful, huh?" comment. My oldest son noticed last year, while he was 7 years old. He asked what people meant and it clearly bothered him. We also get comments like, "are they all yours?" and "I don't know how you do it!" and sometimes worse. My husband will get similar comments when he is out with even just three of them. We have come up with a few responses that honor our children and that express our joy with our family. I think if I returned a joke or suggested that "Whoa! You know it lady! This is making me crazy!" it would send a terrible message to our children. I just love your blog! This post makes me want to offer two comments.

First – I wholeheartedly agree about loving our children and remembering to build them up and not tear them down. Publically or otherwise. That being said, until about 18 months ago, I felt terrible about some of my children’s bad habits. I didn’t speak of them to others out of respect for my kids. But they still did tear me up at times. One day a close friend shared one of her own child’s revolting habits AND I WAS TRULY BLESSED BY IT! This conversation occurred in a loving and confidential way and she and I have been able to talk to each other about these things and even pray for one another’s children.

The other comment – which is sort of related – has to do with comments we receive in public. I “only” have four kids. But that is still 1.something more than the average family. Almost inevitably, on every shopping visit, my children and I get a “wow, you have your handsful, huh?” comment. My oldest son noticed last year, while he was 7 years old. He asked what people meant and it clearly bothered him. We also get comments like, “are they all yours?” and “I don’t know how you do it!” and sometimes worse. My husband will get similar comments when he is out with even just three of them. We have come up with a few responses that honor our children and that express our joy with our family. I think if I returned a joke or suggested that “Whoa! You know it lady! This is making me crazy!” it would send a terrible message to our children.

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