The Perseus Books Group kindly sent me a complimentary copy of Dr. Leonard Sax’s book titled Boys Adrift for review. As with his previous book Why Gender Matters (my review here and here), I thoroughly enjoyed reading Boys Adrift. I find myself agreeing with many things he’s written. The thesis of this book is that many of today’s boys in America are unmotivated and lazy because of five key factors: our model of education, video games, medications for ADHD, endocrine disruptors, and loss of positive role models. All these five factors are fascinating and because I want to provide a judicious review of this book, my review will be split into two posts.

First Factor: Changes at School

According to Dr. Sax, the 21st century classrooms have moved towards a more knowledge based versus experiential based teaching philosophy, which resulted in rigorous academics in the early years. This change mostly impacted the boys because the all day sit-down pencil-and-paper routine is not hospitable to the boys’ natural inclination to be active and creative. Research has shown that boys’ brain development is simply not ready for the rigorous academics typified in modern kindergarten in their early years.

To address these challenges, Dr. Sax suggests that parents can choose to delay their boys’ enrollment by one year if the assigned school requires children to read and write in kindergarten. This option allows a boy’s brain to further develop so to prepare him for the rigorous academics in the early years.

Parents can also research and find which school has a balance between knowledge-based and experience-based teaching methods that’s suitable for their boys. Children learn better in an environment that incorporates hands-on activities, such as assembling a circuit board to learn about electricity (p. 187).

Lastly, Dr. Sax suggests that if your child is doing poorly in school, enrolling him in a single-sex school, i.e. all boys school, is a possible solution. Boys tend to do better in such environment because there are no girls to impress. The single-sex school can be an environment that is more suitable for the boys. One example Dr. Sax provides is providing different options for sitting. Boys can choose to sit on a regular chair or at a different height, or on the floor, or not at all, as long as they are not distracting other students. The schools can also better implement competitive sports or games, which is vital to boys’ competitive nature.

While Dr. Sax’s suggestions are good, they tend to reflect the viewpoint of one whose main focus is reforming the existing institutional school system. I believe he has failed to provide a glance at another viable alternative to merely changing existing institutions, namely, homeschooling. After reading this chapter on the drawbacks of the modern school system, I was even further convinced that homeschooling is a great alternative to the traditional school because it provides individualized and customized learning. A parent has the most intimate knowledge of his/her child, and with careful thought can accommodate the learning environment to the child’s needs and preferences. In addition, many of the negative influences and stigmas that exist in today’s schools are mostly non-existent in a homeschool environment. I’d really like to see Dr. Sax do research in the home school community and see whether how the boys in this group fair. Of course, upon reading this chapter as well as when I read his other book Why Gender Matters, I can see ways I as a homeschool mom can seek to integrate his insights on schooling in a positive way as I educate my sons.

Second Factor: Video Games

Research has shown that more and more boys are immersed in countless hours of video games each day instead of doing their homework or interacting with real people or engaging in life. Dr. Sax explains that boys have an inner drive to gain power or control over a situation, and this appetite is easily accomplished and satiated by playing video games. Facing real life situations does not necessarily provide this sense of satisfaction, and consequently, many lose interest and motivation for facing up to the real life.

Dr. Sax proposes that parents should limit their boys’ time spent on video games but must redirect their time to real life interactions. It is crucial that the alternatives be more exciting and more real than the video games. I think this particular insight, while obvious, points to the underlying need that our young boys-evolving-into-men have of learning to become leaders and heads of household in the future, let alone statesmen and adventurers of various sorts. So the main lesson I draw from this insight is to be constantly on the look out for ways to tap into my sons’ God-given drive to exercise dominion, even in a Christ-like servant-hearted fashion.

Third Factor: Medications for ADHD

Today’s schools require five and six-year-olds to sit still for hours at a stretch, and since most boys have a difficult time with sitting still, many are prescribed medications for ADHD. Research done on animals show that ADHD medications can cause permanent damage to the nucleus accumbens in the brain that is responsible for translating motivation into action.

Interesting enough, both ADHD medications and excessive video game playing have the same effect on the nucleus accumbens. With a smaller nucleus accumbens, boys are less motivated and more apathetic.

As an alternative to jumping to medications when someone thinks your child has ADHD, Dr. Sax suggests that you should seek out a qualified professional to assess whether your child has ADHD. If the child indeed has ADHD after proper assessments and that you believe your child needs medication, Dr. Sax suggests to avoid the use of stimulants such as Adderall, Ritalin, Concerta, Metadate, Focalin, and Daytrana. Instead, the child can use Strattera or Wellbutrin which is deemed as a safer alternative by Dr. Sax.

In these latter two factors (video games and ADHD medications), I believe there is a common element which the book barely mentions: a lack of faithful parenting. Dr. Sax only mentioned it ever so briefly when he quoted psychiatrist Jennifer Harris in regards to ADHD medications: “Many clinicians find it easier to tell parents their child has a brain-based disorder than to suggest parenting changes.” (p. 86) In effect, it is lot easier to medicate a child than to parent one. When it comes to dealing with excessive video games and ADHD medications, diligent and devoted parenting is crucial. This point should be highlighted and expounded upon, rather than be dealt with in a cursory manner.

To be continued…

When I first read last week of Jim Andrew’s book Polishing God’s Monuments via Tim Challies’ review, I decided to be spontaneous and order it immediately. After all, it’s not every day that an uber-prolific Christian blogger and book reviewer says of a book something of this sort:

As I closed the cover on this book, 294 pages (yet only one day) after beginning, it struck me that this is undoubtedly one of the best books I’ve read so far this year. I skimmed back through my files to see how many other books I’ve read in 2007 and can see that it is at least sixty or seventy. So it’s no small thing to realize that this is one of the best. I simply can’t recommend Polishing God’s Monuments too highly.

I received the book yesterday in the mail.

Now, twenty-four hours later (and the same 294 pages), I can say with Tim Challies that this is indeed one of the best books I’ve read ever.

At the risk of redundancy (having linked to Tim’s very thorough review above), let me offer a few reflections in the hopes of persuading you to purchase this soul-strengthening and riveting book.

Polishing God’s Monuments is both a biographical narrative and a Biblical treatise on suffering. I’d previously suggested to friends that D.A. Carson’s How Long, O Lord?: Reflections on Suffering and Evil was the best book I’d ever read on the subject of suffering. Without necessarily comparing the two, I’d say that Polishing God’s Monuments has an authenticity and element that makes it stand out. How so? The book seeks to present a “strategy” for coping with the suffering that is inevitable in this life for all of us who live in this sin-stained world. The title hints at what pastor and former seminary professor Jim Andrews refers to as “monumental faith,” which, in short, is learning to make it a point to hold onto past evidences of God’s faithfulness in order to endure present (and ongoing) trials. He develops this idea in the context of the last two decades of his life, during which his daughter and son-in-law have undergone unbelievable and agonizing ongoing, chronic, and debilitating medical problems — which have taken no small toll on their respective parents — and somehow (by God’s grace) survived with their faith intact, even though their health challenges very much remain.

I don’t want to say too much more about the narrative, at the risk of taking away the full impact of the book. I will say that Andrews provides a very heartfelt and accessible presentation of Biblical evidence for reasons to trust in God’s sovereignty and goodness, and ways that we can in our weak sin-laden flesh learn to cling to those truths no matter how severe or light our afflictions may be. He is neither overly “academic” in his presentation, nor hopelessly colloquial that the reader would fail to see the strong Biblical underpinnings of his exhortation to live a “monumental faith.” (He even addresses the horridly sad implications of recent trends above evangelicals to accept the unhelpful theology of “open theism” with respect to enduring true suffering).

Probably the most succinct praise I could offer of this book is that it manages to combine solid Biblical & theological reflection on how to endure suffering with engaging storyline of real-life struggles with suffering, all in a very readable and understandable fashion. Andrews manages to thread that difficult path of showing us how our “creeds” can and do truly affect our deeds, and not merely describe one without addressing the other.

As he opens the book, Andrews mentions that he especially has in mind readers who are enduring suffering. But he continues later on to remind us that sufferings and trials are supposed to be normal for the Christian. He helpfully argues that if we think otherwise (especially in our very comfortable American modern civilization) we are not only deceived and out of sorts with the words of Jesus, but we will be very ill-prepared for the sufferings that will come our way. After reading the book, I was deeply impressed by the importance of not living for comfort, but for eternity. And how easily the former will distract us from the latter. As Andrews suggested, Christians are saved not to seek mere comfort, but to seek conformity to Christ; and it’s primarily through trials that we grow stronger in this direction.

As I made my way through this book, I thought of dear friends who have endured chronic diseases over the past several years, and have an inclination to purchase extra copies to gift to them. Not so much, in their cases, because I think they haven’t demonstrated faithfulness. But as a marker to thank them for the testimony they have been to me of trusting God amidst suffering and pain, in the hopes of bringing them encouragement. I thank God for this sobering yet hope-filled book, for it did not only present a story of suffering, but a firm and strong reminder of God’s sovereign and gracious workings amidst all of our sufferings.

In short, buy this book. Read this book. Be helped, be encouraged, be prepared.

Books Children Love: A Guide to the Best Children’s Literature by Elizabeth Wilson is a wonderful resource to have when searching for good books for your children. I am a firm believer in reading good books and I am happy to find an author who shares my vision. This book was modeled after a British educator Charlotte Mason‘s teaching philosophy in the 1900′s. Charlotte Mason favored “living books,” i.e. books that are of quality, value, engaging, and not dumbed down. Mrs. Wilson spent a year researching quality books and compiled into a guide.

This book is organized according to the following topics:

1. Animals: Domestic animals, pets, zoo animals
2. Art and architecture
3. Bible/spiritual and moral teaching
4. Biography
5. Celebration days and seasons
6. Crafts, hobbies, and domestic arts
7. Dance, drama, and other performances
8. Growing plants – outdoors and indoors
9. History and geography
10. Humor
11. Language
12. Literature: level I, II, and III, anthologies, poetry and rhymes
13. Mathematics
14. Music
15. Nature, science, and technology
16. Outdoor activities
17. Physical education and organized games
18. Reference and research/study skills
19. Special needs

I have already used this guide to look for wonderful books for my children to read. With the help of this guide, I look forward to finding more book treasures in the future with my children.

When our five-year-old woke up this morning he told his Dad that he was going to try his best not to hurt his brother’s heart. By this he meant he was not going to take his brother’s toys, or cause distress, or hurt him in any way. His dad carefully explained what his promise entailed, and reminded him how he needs God’s help to truly bless his brother.

Unsurprisingly, he was unable to keep this promise for long. Only two hours later, he caused his brother to cry by grabbing away one of the toys his brother was playing with.

My response? I got really upset because everything was going fine and dandy until I had to step away for a mere minute to change his sister’s diaper. That one minute of unsupervised play was when my five-year-old committed the deed.

In the process of disciplining him (with me still steaming inside at his nerve!), I sat him down on a chair to further discuss what happened. I reminded him of the promise he made this morning by not wanting to hurt his brother, yet he went on to hurt him anyway shortly thereafter. I explained that I was perplexed why the disconnect between his promise and his actions. He had set out to do what was right, but his actions did not match up. In my frustration, I asked him why he did what he did. “Why the inconsistency?!” I demanded.

He looked down with shame and sadness and answered softly, “Because I’m a sinner.”

I was so struck by his answer. I certainly didn’t expect it. It was apparent that he understood his own sin nature and could properly relate his sinful state to his actions. This was the moment I calmed down and began to speak more softly to him. Matthew’s brokenness led me to see my own sin in how I was dealing with him. I had sinned against him by being impatient and angry.

Parenting is definitely difficult and extremely soul-searching. Often, the very thing we want to correct in our children’s character or behavior is the very thing we need to deal with in our own lives. One of the struggles I have in parenting is dealing with my own anger. It is far too easy to become irritated, frustrated, and angry, especially when your child commits the same sin for the umptieth time. However, I know that God desires holiness in me, and, in fact, parenting is one of the primary means he wants to use in my life to this end. Even as I yearn to teach my children daily how to be obedient, kind, and loving; I am learning to see how the Lord wants to do the same in my life as their mother, as a child of God.

As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17