Things To Do To Make A House A Home
A couple of weeks ago, Lois posted about how we’ve seen from those around us and the broader culture how crucial it is as parents that we endeavor to make our house a “true home.”
Ann commented:
I am interested to hear how you develop this out in your family. I have a similar desire, and even came from a “true home” but I’m not sure how to practice this. Looking forward to hearing more.
Because Lois and I are just starting our family, relatively speaking, we haven’t exactly got lots of experience and anecdotes. For now, it’s mainly in principle. That said, here are a few things we try to do frequently:
- Get down on the floor. That’s right, especially with little ones, it’s so easy to sit in our chairs — whether otherwise occupied or not. And just watch the activity, until otherwise beckoned to help with something or referee a tussle. But getting down on the floor, whether lying down or crawling, seems to create wonderful opportunities not only for interacting with little ones, but also seeing the world from their perspective. Good stuff.
- Make the most of “extra time.” Lois and I are both “schedule” people. That is, we thrive on a sense of predictability and regularity in our schedules. We like to have the kids in bed at a fixed time, eat at regular hours, etc. And we’re all better for the sense of order that results. But every once in a while, when there’s no real need to be right on time, we find that some spontaneous time of just tickling or laughing or other such “no brain required” activity. It especially warms our hearts when one or more of the kids takes the opportunity during such times to give an unexpected hug or kiss and say, “I love you Daddy/Mommy” and we get to return the gesture.
- Read books to our children. Self-explanatory, and something I need to do more of. It’s obviously nice from an educational standpoint, but also a great excuse to just sit down and enjoy good stories together. I think particularly of value are Christian biographies as well as well-told fiction.
- Minimize the amount of family activities that aren’t really family activities. By this I simply mean things like watching a movie together, where we’re all in the same room, but we’re not interacting. But this could also be stuff like having friends over, wherein their children play with our children and the adults (only) interact with each other. I also like to make the most of those times not merely to supervise the children, but to interact with them meaningfully.
- Invite your children to help in age-appropriate ways. One of the things we’ve seen as particularly helpful is inviting your children to be “part of things.” For example, as Matthew has gotten older, we’ve let him little by little help around the house. From fixing things to helping cook simple meals, we find that the more he’s part of things, the more he wants to be a part of the family. Even two-year-old Emmaline is a great helper. I often take particular pains to ask her to help clean up this or that, and she loves to do so. Note: this is not about lightening our load or teaching responsibility, though those two things frequently happen. It’s about being a family serving one another, and serving the Lord together.
Well that seems like a good start. Now is a great chance for all your Musings of the Dings lurkers to jump in with ways in which you’ve sought to make your houses real homes for your families.
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6 Comments so far
Leave a commentgreat thoughts… I think we’re on the same page. Those are things I remember my folks doing with us. Keep us updated as you discover more ideas!
How to make a house a home….
lately I’ve been musing on this idea of enjoying every moment, even the annoying ones. For example, letting the house get messy. It’s more important that we live life/enjoy life than have a tidy house. One day I will miss all the toys strewn about, the craft supplies on the floor, the request to make a snack for daughter and her friends, etc. (Of course, I’m not talking about letting kids be undisciplined and mom being the servant. I mean not being a drill sargeant about the messes they naturally make.)Yesterday I let my daughter’s friend go along with us on errands. I acted goofy with them and bought them popsicles on the street. It seemed to mean so much to her.
I agree with all of your explanations on how to make family life inviting and attractive for children. I would also like to add family worship time. We enjoy singing together, reading from God’s Word, answering questions from our children ,and praying together. We love to see our 2 year old boy try to sing along. He watches his daddy so closely and tries to imitate his singing! He sings Oley, oley, oley(Holy, Holy, Holy) loud and strong! It is precious! Even young children can benefit from this time. Plus, we are trying to honor the Lord together in worship.
Also, we like to play games together. But, that can be tricky with our ages of our children.
My older 2 girls and I do Bible studies together and read books like *Girl Talk*
With my younger ones, we read, play, wrestle, laugh, and try to make home a happy secure place.
Thanks for your input and ideas…I may post on this at some point. I like this topic.
Kim
One other thing that has come to mind since I wrote the above is the importance of words of praise. I’ve read somewhere that very often children go outside the home because they feel more accepted by their peers (of questionable wisdom), than they do by their ever-nagging parents.
So it strikes me that another way to make our houses homes is to fill them with words of life.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” Prov. 18:21a
“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Prov. 12:18
“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.” Prov. 12:25
Lurkers? Hmmm…I’ve been “outed”! LOL
First, love your blog. You’re folks I’d love to know in person.
Second, making a house a home? Music!! Praise; silly, made-up lyrics; action songs; fingerplays, Bible songs. Great for table grace, car rides, doing chores, learning to “sit”, memorizing scripture, etc. I am not a trained singer, but I am enthusiastic!
Next. Something that really helped me (I was a single parent for 9 years) was developing a mission statement for my little family. Really helped me live intentionally and simply and in a focused manner..ummm, most days, anyway. Some days, all that got done was…remembering the mission! LOL
Lastly, laughter, laughter, laughter. Seeing your children as the funny, precious, priceless, unique and brightshiny creatures they are helps alot. Taking photos and video of the day-to-day fun helped me “see” the fun and now (at ages 16 and almost 19), I have irreplaceable evidence of the warm memories (which, BTW, is helpful for reviewing during the terible teens).
Keep up the good work, Dings. You are a great team!
Blessings,
Teri
(from Iowa)
I have commented here before but I just wanted to tell you how blessed I am by your blog. Evers, your last comment about praise is SO TRUE!! Our children really need that. I once heard this “No person has ever crawled out under a heap of condemnation to want to do better” I know when my husband praises or encourages me, it motivates me to want to do even better. Same must be true with our children.
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