At the CHEA homeschool convention this year, Gregg Harris noted that one of the reasons that some parents pull their children from the public school in order to educate them at home is because of the principle found in Proverbs 13:20:

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,
but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Parents don’t want their children to associate with others who act foolishly. The principle is simple: walking with the wise will help you become wise whereas walking with the foolish will incur harm.

But Harris did not stop there.  He went on to say that we need to make sure that once our children are home with us, they are indeed walking with the wise and not with fools. This struck a chord with me because I find myself acting foolishly on many occasions. How easy it is for us to forget that we as parents need to strive to be wise so that our children may become wise. This was an important reminder for me next time I act foolishly. Our children are watching and learning. May we walk wisely rather than simply cause them to suffer harm through our folly!

It’s been said that “there’s no place like home.” Or, “home is where the heart is.” However you put it, it’s historically been true (or at least idealized) that home is a place where we find rest, comfort, love, joy, and so on.

But it’s not always so. Making our homes “true homes” of the above sort requires work. Allow me to elaborate.

A few days ago, my husband and I were chatting with some friends, talking about family life. We learned that two boys in their neighborhood, each from separate homes, spend nearly all of their free time at my friend’s house. “Free time” being any time they weren’t doing homework, or piano lessons, or other such obligatory tasks. These two boys openly state that they don’t enjoy being at their own homes and want to spend as much time as possible playing with my friend’s children. They often even treat our friends’ home as their own — not always in a respectful fashion.

As we inquired further, we learned that for both of these boys, both of their parents work full-time and don’t make much effort to spend any “quality” time with their children. What’s more, to keep them occupied, the boys are enrolled in all sorts of after-school activities, usually of an academic sort. From morning until evening, they are assigned school work, or music lessons, or similar activities — with little opportunity to experience what most of us would call a “normal” childhood. And in the occasional half-hour or so each day they are “free” from this regimen, they rush over to our friends’ house instead of at doing something at home. Why? It’s simply because their homes hold no appeal to them. They have no meaningful interaction with their parents. Their childhood is mostly spent in classroom or schoolwork types of settings.

Contrast this sad scenario with an encounter I had with a family several years ago that had two teenage children, the oldest an eighteen-year-old about to head off to college. When asked if he was excited to leave home for college in the fall, he expressed that he wasn’t all that excited in leaving because he enjoyed being with his parents! Even though he had already been accepted to a college of his choice, he decided to defer his enrollment and learn a trade while living at home. This family’s situation is definitely rare nowadays. It is unusual to hear young people wanting and enjoy being with their parents. My chats with relatives & friends working in high schools only further affirms my sense of the tragedy that is the typical American household. So this unique family with its very tight relationships made me ask, “What made this family so different?”

The answer, as it turns out it, was simple: this family simply spent lots of time together, whether at church or at various activities. The parents created a home environment — relationally — that was attractive for their children, so that they weren’t forced to constantly resort to looking outside the home for meaningful relationships. And it is the absence of this kind of home culture that I believe this is one of the biggest reason that parents lose touch with their children as they grow older, and that their children involved with unhealthy relationships and activities.

As I have reflected on this, it has reinforced my desire to create a warm, fun, and attractive home life for my children. I want my children to feel that home is the best place on earth and to enjoy being a family at home, no matter how old we are. By creating an exciting and attractive home life, I don’t mean that we need to constantly engage our children in various activities by shuffling them from one event to another. Nor do I mean that we never permit them to explore relationships outside the home. But we know even at this age that some of the wisest and most godly people we know testify to deep and meaningful relationships with their parents. We need to be with our children and interact with them in ways that connect with who they are as individuals, and where they are in their respective emotional, intellectual and spiritual development. As their minds grow and can think more deeply, we are to engage their minds and hearts as well. Working together, reading together, and playing together are great relationship building activities.

I’m sure I will have much to learn in the coming years on the practical aspects of making my home a place where my children love to be. I pray that I will always make this a priority, even as they will eventually grow older and leave this home to make their own homes, wherever the Lord takes them.

I was a bit irked yesterday having to lecture my son about having a good attitude and following directions when doing a reading / science lesson. In my mind, his attitude and lack of patience were hindering his school work. I had to stop the lesson temporarily in order to have a small talk with him.

I was then reminded by my husband that I should not merely care about having my son obtain knowledge of the academic sort, but be concerned about developing his character as well. Instead of viewing my talk with him about his attitude toward school work as an unwelcome interruption, I should embrace it as an opportunity for me to teach him about wisdom and patience. I confess that I was a bit flustered that I had to correct his attitude. But this little reminder from Evers, I rejoice that I am able to be so involved in his life as to give him the proper guidance. Not merely do your school work, but do your school work with a view toward honoring God with how you’re doing it!

As I continue to homeschool, I am very grateful to God for this wonderful opportunity to help shape my children’s souls and not just their ability to read, write and do arithmetic!

One of my favorite preachers / authors / theologians, and I believe one of the “great” ones of our era, is John Piper. Dr. Piper has for over twenty years served as pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, MN, and has epitomized passionate God-centered preaching of the gospel and immense zeal for His glory. His church’s mission statement well describes the central theme of much of his own ministry:

We exist to spread a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples.

Over the years, Piper’s writings have been very influential in my life. God has used his works to grant me a greater hunger for God, a zeal for global mission, and a desire to make Him the centerpiece of my entire life. He is a uniquely gifted man with gifts in preaching, writing and a keen theological mind. Add to this a genuine humility and love for Christ, and you can understand why he has become increasingly used of God in recent years.

The ministry Desiring God exists to make available the many fruits of John Piper’s labors, and does so at amazingly accessible costs. Nearly all of the books in the online bookstore, most of which Piper has either written or contributed to in some fashion, are available regularly at prices lower than even amazon.com. Many of these books are even downloadable in electronic format for free. In addition, there are hundreds of his sermons available for free not only in audio but also (downloadable) video format! Obviously, their commitment to spread passion for God’s supremacy globally shows in how they are willing to give away so many abundant resources.

As if that were not enough, for two days this week (June 27-28), they are having a tremendous book sale. Every book in the Desiring God bookstore is on sale for $5! GO GET ‘EM, is all I can say to that. Unfortunately for me, I already own nearly all of Piper’s books. But if you don’t, GO GET ‘EM. And if you’re new to John Piper, let me suggest some of the following as some of the best books to start with (for just $5!):

• Let the Nations Be Glad!: This was the first book from John Piper that I read, and a pivotal one for me. This is, in my opinion, the best book on missions written in the modern era. It is an eloquent plea for a Biblical, God-saturated vision for world missions.
• God Is the Gospel: One of Piper’s more recent books, this is a relatively short book that is possibly one of Piper’s most important. In this book he describes and defends his view that the heart of the gospel is God, and that when we begin to make the gifts of God more important than God Himself we have lost sight of the point of the gospel.
• The Pleasures of God: I personally found this one of the most helpful books Piper has written. Here he delves in systematic detail into what brings God pleasure, including excellent chapters on God’s Pleasure in Election and a moving chapter on God’s Pleasure in Bruising the Son. Fairly easy read.
• Desiring God: the namesake of their resource ministry, this book presents and defends what Piper calls his philosophy of “Christian hedonism.” No “Piper” collection is complete without this primary text on what he means when he says that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”
• Brothers, We Are Not Professionals: An excellent plea from Piper to fellow pastors to forgo the temptation to professionalize pastoral ministry, in the mold of the world. He instead challenges fellow church leaders to take up the role of undershepherd of God’s people and servant of Christ. This book covers many areas of ministry, and addresses many of the pitfalls of vocational ministry.
• Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A classic text presenting a well-rounded vision of Biblical manhood and womanhood. It graciously defends / presents a complementarian viewpoint of gender roles in creation and in the church in particular.
• The four books in his “Swans Are Not Silent” Christian biography series: The Legacy of Sovereign Joy, The Roots of Endurance, The Hidden Smile of God, and Contending For Our All: These books provide short, readable glimpses and reflections on the lives of saints who have left an indelible mark on church history which last through today. Reading Christian biography can be a source of much encouragement, guidance and wisdom. I heartily commend Piper’s series of biography compilations. Much of the source material for these very readable books comes from the annual pastor’s conference hosted by Bethlehem Baptist Church.

A month ago, I was intrigued by Dr. Albert Mohler’s review of The Dangerous Book for Boys and knew that this was a book I would want for my boys. Before I could obtain a copy, Tim Challies wrote another review. While shopping at my local Costco the other day, I saw it on the book table. I was excited and bought a copy. So, what do I think of it?

First off, I really like the cloth / hardback binding and the golden letter etching. It reminds me of a very old and treasured book. I browsed through the entire book and was quite impressed by the wealth of information it contained. It is no wonder that it’s a bestseller in Britain and in the States. Not only did the authors write about making go-carts and tree houses, they insisted that boys need to know some of the fine arts such as grammar, Latin phrases, poems, and Shakespeare.

The authors explained that this is a “dangerous” book only because it required the boys to get up and do something instead of sitting on the couch playing video games. This is a book for boys and the recommended age is eight and up. Even though my oldest is only five, we were able to do some of the activities in the book such as playing a round of table football and making paper airplanes. My son was very excited about this book and kept on asking me to do more activities. He told his father that he wanted to make a catapult and a go-cart. One caveat of purchasing this book is that the parents have to be involved. As much as we want to encourage our kids to love the outdoors, we need to be involved in the process as well. Many of the activities require parental partnership. I am all for it because it builds relationships. When the boys get older, I am sure my husband will love to build something with them. I recommend this book without reservation.

As referenced in Lois’ post, she ended up taking a short video of Matthew sliding down the stairs on a piece of cardboard. For your viewing pleasure:

My son Matthew is extremely active, and I’m not. He is very daring, and I much prefer self-preservation. He has endless energy, and I have ever depleted energy. Sitting still is the ultimate torture for him but it is very relaxing for me. My point? I’m very different from my boy.

First, he seems to have a surplus of testosterone flowing in his blood. Because I am so different from him, how I want him to play is usually based on my own inclinations. I’d much rather have him sit and read or help me around the house or play quietly on his own. All of these go contrary to how God has made him. He would rather jump off from a high plane, run like a wild horse through the house, and smack things as he sees fit. My husband has to remind me often that I have to let Matthew be who he is, i.e. a boy. The activities he likes to engage in should be encouraged by me. I should not prohibit or discourage his boyish nature. This isn’t to say that I should let him be wild and irresponsible as he sees fit, but neither should I try to merely box him into a mold that he wasn’t made in which to fit.

Yesterday, Matthew got two cardboard boxes and used them as a sled to slide down the (hardwood) stairs. I was shocked when he showed me his newest daredevil activity mainly because I was concerned about his safety. He wasn’t a bit concerned at all. He was all smiles when he slid down the stairs. Seeing my disapproval, he asked if he could do it again. I initially said no, but remembering that he is a boy after all, I reluctantly said yes. Since I agreed to this stunt, I decided that I might as well make the most of it by capturing a video of him sliding down. He was quite thrilled. I think the adrenaline rush is quite thrilling for him. I allowed him to go down the stairs three more times. It was a good day for him.

I think mothers like me need to work hard to allow more of these “boyish” activities (with precautions, of course). I was there to supervise so he wouldn’t get his bodily parts all wrapped up in a twisted or contorted fashion. In all this, I am glad that I’m learning to help him to be a boy, and eventually a man of character who takes initiative, just as God has made him.