Functioning within a busy household, it’s very natural for me to just assign a task to my children and have them do it while I go and finish up a different chore. While this is not a bad strategy, I was recently reminded by my husband to come alongside our children as they work. That is, to work with them, not merely to have them work. This reminded me of something Gregg Harris said at the CHEA homeschool convention last month. He gave an example of a father assigning his son to paint a fence while the father goes to the other end to paint. While this isn’t a bad strategy as it is the more efficient way, it is far better, from a parenting perspective, for the father to work right next to the son and paint with him. By working together, the father creates invaluable opportunities to converse and enjoy the work together. I have recently lost sight of this principle. Many times I think about efficiency in how quickly I or the children can get the house organized. I forget the fact that it is while we are working together, we can actually enjoy what we do, which results in enjoying each other’s presence. Which is a far more important goal than merely completing tasks.

Today when I assigned my son the task of stacking some cloth diapers, he was reluctant and complained a bit. Normally I would have him quit complaining and tell him to get to work. After all, I have other chores to do around the house. I remembered Gregg Harris’ words so I decided to help him do the task together. His burden became light and he finished the chore lot faster, not necessarily because I was helping but because he felt he wasn’t alone in it. As I reflected on this, building a strong relationship with my son is lot more important than getting a job done. Doing a job together helps to build a strong relationship with him. I pray that next time I’m tempted to merely get the job done that I would remember this principle and come alongside my children.