Sometimes when I share with friends about my struggles with my boys, I half jokingly say that when my boys sin, they sin boldly. Their transgressions are very obvious. I often shake my head in disbelief that their sins are so blatant. Right after I tell them not to touch a certain object, they touch it, and that is with them looking at me in the eyes. My more conniving side of me comes out and thinks, “Why would they sin so blatant right in front of me, knowing that they will get disciplined for their actions? Don’t they want to be less obvious?” I, of course, shake my head in disbelief once again. My husband then reminds me that he would rather have them sin boldly than to sin in secrecy. It is easier to discipline boys because their sins are usually more obvious and in-your-face. They are simple creatures. This is, I’m told, different from girls in general who are more secretive. They rebel differently and can get away with more because it is not as easy to catch attitude issues. This is not to say that my boys don’t have attitude problems. In fact, this is one of the areas that we’re currently working on with our oldest.

It is easy to discipline for obvious disobedience such as not obeying when told to do a certain thing but didn’t. What if the child obeys outwardly but his body language tells you otherwise? What about whining? What about having a sour face? To me these are more serious because they convey what is in the heart. If the parents aren’t vigilant, the children can get away with such sins and will eventually fester to more problems. We are actively communicating with our children that attitudes are important. When we require them to obey, we mean to obey cheerfully. Even though they are outwardly obedient, inwardly they are not. Matthew 23:25-26 comes to mind:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.”

Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for what was in their hearts even though outwardly they were exemplary people worthy of respect and honor. Outward behavior is not always indicative of the heart, but the heart is most indicative of who we truly are.  Thus, we must first address what is in the heart in order to be truly clean on the outside. This is why it is important for us to discipline our children for attitude problems. I know that as they get older, they will become smarter and figure out how they can disobey without getting caught. Parenting will inevitably become more challenging. However, if we are diligent in disciplining even for the slightest remark or attitude problem while they are young, we will have a greater influence in their lives and help guide them through the more turbulent years.