I have always known that memorizing Bible verses is beneficial, yet I always struggle with it. With this aging brain of mine it is especially difficult to make any verse stick, thus I’m always fighting an uphill battle.

Last week I decided to start memorizing Bible verses, the painless way. Since I spend a lot of time in the bathroom getting rid of someone’s eliminations (I have three kiddos in diapers), I make this diaper changing time my Bible memorization time. I write a verse on a post-it note and stick it on the bathroom mirror. Whenever I’m helping someone out of his mess, I read the verse out-loud over and over again. I find that with one diaper change, I can recite the verse many times. Repetition is good! In no time, I’m able to memorize a verse. This process is so painless and effortless. This is also good for the baby because she gets to hear the Bible verse many times throughout the day.

Fancy words? We just enjoyed watching Akeelah and the Bee, a very nice story about a young black girl in south L.A. who makes it her ambition to get to (and win) the National Spelling Bee. Lots of words which you and I will never ever encounter in real life. One of the words in the “championship round”: logorrhea, defined in Webster’s thus:

Main Entry: log·or·rhea
Pronunciation: “lo-g&-’rE-&, “lä-
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin
: excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness

For those of who not seeing the connection, the word is derived from Greek logos, “word” + rhein, “to flow.” Of course, that latter root is from whence we get the word “diarrhea.” See the connection?

I immediately thought of our oldest four-year-old son who can’t seem to stop talking. Even when he says he’ll stop. Lois and I shared a look when that word was defined in the movie.

As for “one-sided complaints,” has anyone else ever noticed how people complain that “there’s always so many dishes to wash,” and “there’s always clothes to pick up”…. but no one ever says with that same tone, “Why is there another meal on the table?!!!”

With Emmaline’s recent hip surgeries, life has been especially hard caring for her emotional well-being as well her physical needs. We are very grateful that she’ll only need to be in the cast for three more weeks. What a tremendous relief for all of us.

As I was driving on the road last week, I was overwhelmed with lots of emotions after talking with my husband about his prolonged visit to Emmaline’s surgeon. Without much self-control, my mind took me to a place where I didn’t want to be (or shouldn’t be). I began to grumble about all the extra work needed to care for Emmaline, many long visits to the doctors, long drives to the doctors, many visits from various therapists, etc. By the time I caught myself in a self-wallowing state, my heart was already angry.� I didn’t want to be in this condition but I just didn’t know how to change my mood.

My car stereo was on at the moment and the song “Always Forgiven” was playing.

I don’t deserve to be Your servant
And how much less to be Your child
Anger and wrath, sure condemnation
Should be my portion, my just reward
Never have seen it, never will know it
Your loving kindness enfolds my life

All You have shown me is
Grace, love and mercy
Now and forever, I am Your child
Freely You pour out Your loving kindness
Father of Grace, You welcome me in

All of the sin I have committed
Was placed upon Your righteous Son
And now You see me through His perfection
As if I’d never done any wrong
Always forgiven, always accepted
No fear of judgment before your throne.

The truth in this song grabbed hold of me. Tears fell. I realized how merciful and kind God is towards me. Who am I to complain about the extra work needed for Emmaline? What God did for me was many many times greater than what I do for Emmaline. It’s simply not comparable. My mood changed and I was no longer in a self-pitying state.

After this short episode, I find it interesting that the lyrics in this song had no direct relation to what I was going through at the moment. Yet I was affected by them. The song spoke of God’s mercy and kindness in pardoning and saving a sinner like me. I, on the other hand, was going through an emotional turmoil about caring for my daughter Emmaline. What do the two have to do with each other� Nothing much, in one sense. Yet what I experienced was the effect of gaining God’s perspective, especially as it relates to His mercy poured out on the cross and ever since. The truth of God was powerful. It changed me and it made me realize how kind God is towards me. When I finally understood this awesome act of God, my current suffering didn’t seem to matter much anymore.

This morning, I took Emmie in for what appears to the last in a series of three surgeries to repair her bilateral hip dislocation.

The first two procedures involved open reductions (repairs) of her left and right hips, respectively. This last surgery was a simple arthrogram: injecting dye into her hip and taking an x-ray of the joint to verify proper healing. Oh, and a cast change, and all under general anesthesia.

Unlike the first two procedures which each took more than three hours, this one only took 45 minutes! The doctor reported that not only is she doing well, but she will be able to be out of a cast three weeks earlier than previously planned! This is because that her joint appears to be tighter than average after the procedures, making it less likely to pop out of joint once out of cast. Thus, instead of six weeks more, it’ll only be three weeks more in the cast; followed by six weeks of wearing a semi-mobile plastic brace which we can take off for bathing (yay!).

We’re very thankful. It has been a difficult time, possibly for no one more than our little girl who doesn’t understand why she’s had to suffer so much. Thanks to all of you who’ve shared in our trials these past couple of months and offered up prayers on our behalf!

I don’t have an exciting or interesting conversion story. My conversion was a gradual one and I don’t know the exact time when I was saved. Whenever asked to share my testimony, I don’t ever think it is captivating enough to enthuse anyone. The more interesting ones, it seems, are told by those who used to live a life of utter immorality and then to live in complete opposite of their previous lifestyle upon conversion. I was never a heavy drinking party girl, a druggie, a prostitute, a murderer, etc. My old life wasn’t sinful enough to be interesting. It seems that the greatness of God is more magnified when a “filthy” sinner gets saved than an average joe like me.

I went to China for a short-term missions trip right after graduating from college, and one of the requirements was to write out my personal testimony. I don’t remember what I wrote exactly but all I remember was that I wrote a very complex and theological treatise. During the trip, one of the team member’s testimony was selected to share with the Chinese locals for the outreach night. I wasn’t surprised that mine wasn’t selected. After all, it wasn’t interesting enough to captivate the lost.

I have pondered this for a long time and only now am I able to put words to my thoughts. I did a study on Martin Luther when I was in college. I was intrigued by his life and his obsession with the sins in his life. He didn’t live an immoral life like St. Augustine, yet he felt the need to confess every little sin in his life in order to be right before God. Luther was a man who understood his own sinfulness all too well. His problem was that he didn’t understand the justification and grace of God. I came away with this study with the thought of, “Wow. . . this man is psychotic.” Anyone who read his life would probably utter the same thing. This study had a great impact on me because for the first time I saw that every “little” sin is sin and it is not trivial before God. Even though we may compare ourselves with others and come away with the understanding that we are better than those immoral folks, God doesn’t grade on a curve. In other words, just because I am better than some people, it is still not right before God.

In light of this, there is a problem with thinking that some testimonies of conversion — such as those I mentioned at the top — are more radical and worth sharing than others. This view erroneously assumes that the emphasis of our conversions should be how visible or drastic our sins were, measured according to “worldliness.” Instead, we should see that even the most “petty” of sins are a desecration of God’s glory and as much prove a basis for an eternity in hell as the most “vile” sins. If we are testifying of how bad we were based on our perception of those sins, we are practically contradicting a Biblical understanding of sin, which is rooted in the glory of God and not the mere ugliness of the sin.

Put another way, it’s easy to persuade someone that drunkenness and sexual immorality are sinful. Try persuading unbelievers that a proud heart is sinful and worthy of eternal punishment. The first type of sin is most common in popular testimonies, and yet the latter is far more common and what really keeps men from God. I wonder if the church does both the lost and the gospel a disservice by emphasizing testimonies of turning from external sins instead of the internal ones that are at the heart of what separate men and women from a holy God. After all, you won’t have any trouble persuading a drunkard that he’s dead in sin. But the average suburbanite American? Just as dead in sin, but unaffected by testimonies of drastic conversion, and perhaps even made to feel good enough about himself (vs. “that former drunkard”) not to need “that kind of religion.”

Ultimately, God’s greatness in saving a “decent person” like me is awesome because before Him, my “little” sins are still loathsome and offensive. My heart was dead in sin and under judgment as any other. God’s grace and mercy in bringing me to Him is no less miraculous and amazing than His grace in granting life to the “chief” of sinners. It’s interesting that Paul, a religious zealout for all of his life, referred to himself with that title — not those who happened to have very “worldly” lifestyles.

What then? Hopefully, we can shape the way we share our “testimonies” in a fashion that more accurately reflects God’s perspective on our sin, and God’s power in changing dead hearts, no matter how “decent” we may seem. A testimony can then present how God takes dead hearts and makes them anew, and in so doing, present the gospel in a fashion that would impact every hearer.

One of the chapters in David Powlison’s book Seeing With New Eyes provides a critique of the best-selling book and materials by Gary Chapman called “The Five Love Languages.”

Chapman’s primary thesis, as described by Powlison, is that marital bliss is often hindered because individuals fail to understand their spouse’s “love language” and thus fail to convey their love to the other in a way that the other spouse needs/wants. Chapman’s main metaphor is that of empty “love tanks” that, when left unfilled, result in empty marriages and often destructive behavior.

Powlison acknowledges the key observation of Chapman’s book that people are, in fact, made differently; and that we need to learn to love others in a way that truly meets their needs (and not merely would meet our own if in their shoes). However, he takes great exception with Chapman’s primary message for motivating folks to learn “love languages.” He describes Chapman’s underlying motif as little more than a glorified version of “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” Powlison explains:

Chapman’s full working philosophy might be summarized this way: “I’ll find out where you itch, and I’ll scratch your back, so you feel better. Along the way, I’ll let you know my itches in a non-demanding manner. You’ll feel good about me because your itches are being scratched, so eventually you’ll probably scratch my back, too.”

The primary criticism of Powlison’s critique is that Chapman all but ignores the problem of sin. As with most of secular psychology, it assumes all too rosy a view of human nature; and any “dysfunction” is but a result of an empty past, a poor childhood, or in this case, someone not speaking “my love language” and resulting in an “empty love tank” which acts out destructively.

I provide the above context so that I can share what I thought was a very well-put statement of the real problem related to “love languages” theory. Take a moment and reflect on the following paragraph from Powlison (p. 234):

A love language (or a lust language) instinctively looks at all reality through the lens of “my needs.” I’ve found that one acid test of my heart is how I handle being misunderstood, caricatured, dissed — not how I handle being accurately known and loved! It’s when someone doesn’t speak my “love language” that I find out what I’m made of, and by God’s grace being to change what I love for. Desires for good things easily become imperial demands that would enslave the very people who might try to speak my language — or yours. The lust that perverts such languages sets up an unholy law, by which to command and judge the performance of others in the eyes of an unholy king.

In the above paragraph, Powlison puts so well the main problem of The Five Love Languages: it conveys that the most important solution to relational satisfaction and happiness is learning to speak another’s love language. What’s wrong with that? It fails to deal with two realities: the sinfulness of man’s heart that causes him not to love when/how he ought; and the sinfulness of man’s heart that causes him to think that being loved is what will make him truly happy.

What struck me as I read Powlison’s critique of this material was that one could equally apply his critique not just to the “need” of “love languages” but any of our “needs.” When life is not going our way, whether in marital harmony, Christian service, employment, family life, health etc., do we rise up and become embittered or angry or frustrated and complaining? Do we explain such responses as caused by our circumstances? Is the loudest voice in our heads (and perhaps coming forth from our mouths) expressing “if only things were not so difficult, I would be better off…”? Would we be? Or, in fact, are those trials just revealing how poor we are and in need of grace, a la the Emperor’s New Clothes? Do we reckon that difficulties and “unmet needs” are merely stimuli which reveal our fallen and sin-stained hearts and which show our most desperate need for the medicine of the Word and the skilled surgery of the Spirit on our hearts and affections? Do we realize that when we fail to “count it all joy when we meet trials of various kinds” (James 1:2) that above all else it reveals our need for Christ to make us joy-counting type of people and not merely how bad our circumstances are?

Ultimately, Powlison’s insights are helpful to show that the best “self-help” in the world leaves us light years short of the real help for the real needs of our souls that God is most interested in. And any “Christian” counseling that fails to bring us to that conclusion is barely Christian, if at all. As Powlison says,

At the end of the day, a book such as 5LL makes some interesting observations. It can point out some details you might not have noticed. You ought to pay attention to the varied languages of human experience, your own included. It offers a few helpful tips that might help you love someone better. That’s good. But you’d better not buy the reasoning. … When the analysis of what is wrong does not lead directly to our need for the person and work of the Messiah, then that analysis is shallow. The solution necessarily becomes some version of “‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace.”

Meeting others’ real needs (suffering, trials, hurts) in this life and directing them to their deepest needs, which only Christ can meet, both lie within the calling of a disciple of Jesus Christ. O for grace never to pursue one of those ministries at the expense of the other, and for wisdom to know how to meet others’ temporal needs while directing them to the One who would meet their eternal needs.

As you might expect, I’d encourage you to pick up a copy of this book and read this chapter as well as the many other insightful articles contained therein.