My boys love trains. To indulge them a little, this past weekend we took them to the Billy Jones Wildcat Railroad train and carousel rides at a nearby park. It was indeed quite spectacular to ride in a miniature train pulled by a real miniature steam engine built in 1905. My boys were quite mesmerized by it all. After the ride, we stayed near the train station to see other passengers get on and get off and observe the train engineers as they add oil and water to the engine. After the train ride, they rode on the big carousel which brought still more joy.

Of course the train and carousel rides don’t fascinate me as much as they fascinate the boys, yet I still have lots of joy just seeing how much they enjoy the rides. My boys are still children thus they still have that wonderful sense of wonder and awe, whereas I’ve already outgrown these childish delights. To think that I used to work right across the street from that very park and would often jog around this park during my lunch hour. I often saw parents with young children riding the train and the carousel, but I never gave it a second thought. The carousel never fascinated me and I never understood why children like it so much. After all, it’s just a fake horse that goes up and down, and the whole thing goes in circles. To top it off, they play that annoying loud music. I know, I know… I’m quite jaded. I grew up in a very impoverished environment and I never got to enjoy or delight in any toys. Wonder and awe were not familiar to me and I do feel I missed out on these during my early growing-up years. However, I’m living vicariously through my young children as they discover new things and take delight in the simplest things.

My children’s sense of wonder brought to mind Ravi Zacharias’s book Recapture the Wonder. The back cover description sums up the book well.

Deep within all of us is a longing to recapture a sense of wonder, to marvel at the mystery of God and His creation like we did as children. But through the years our capacity for wonder has been stifled by busyness and ambitions, and we have resigned ourselves to explaining away all that once made us gasp in awe. After all, how can we let our hearts believe what our minds tell us is nothing more than childish fantasy?

…Zacharias reveals that our heart’s ultimate fulfillment - a life of purpose and meaning - is found in rediscovering and developing our God-given sense of wonder… Zacharias shows that we can not only recapture the innocent sense of wonder we once had, but we can experience wonder in its fullest capacity by yielding to God in awe-inspiring worship. No matter how weary or cynical we have become, we can allow our minds to embrace the deepest desires of our hearts and experience life as God intended it to be.

Even though my perspective is tainted, I’m reminded that I can still recapture that sense of wonder, and it is only through God that I can experience joy and delight. Instead of thinking it is mere childishness, I should have a childlike spirit and wonder in His presence.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Dear Lord, help us in our weakness, frailty and besetting sin to not quit. This parenting gig has been really tough. We do not have “easy” kids and we have a habit of also taking on “too much.” Help us believe the promise of Gal. 6:9 and persevere in doing your will of parenting our children faithfully. Grant us wisdom for this daunting task. In Christ’s name, Amen.

This past week we celebrated the birthdays of our oldest two children, now 4 and 2 years old respectively. This has been a trying season for us as parents, with a new addition to our family (our adopted daughter from China, aged 14 months) and another girl to be born to us in just five weeks. A couple of thoughts come to mind as I reflect on the past few days.

On patience: As much as God has given our oldest child a joyful spirit, so too he has “inherited” my energetic personality. And though we’ve worked very hard to train and mold him, there remains much work. In other words, he can sometimes be very helpful, yet equally so he can be very unhelpful. And in this, we, his parents, have been tested. I’ve found myself on occasion feeling less than “in love with” this boy of ours - especially in his more selfish and/or self-centered moments.

More than once, though, I have been helped by thinking of the “gospel patience” of our God toward not only his enemies but his own adopted children. J.C. Ryle summed this up beautifully in his thoughts on John 13:1-5 (emphasis mine):

That He should bear with all their countless infirmities from conversion until death, that He should never be tired of their endless inconsistencies and petty provocations, that He should go on forgiving and forgetting incessantly, and never be provoked to cast them off and give them up, all this is marvellous indeed! No mother watching over the waywardness of her feeble babe, in the days of its infancy [or childhood!], has her patience so thoroughly tried, as the patience of Christ is tried by Christians. Yet His longsuffering is infinite. His compassions are a well that is never exhausted.

Just when I’m at the end of myself and have lost patience and I’m about to tell my son that he doesn’t deserve to receive all the blessings of being in this family, I recall that even today, I have done things which should merit my being cast out from the family of the redeemed! Ryle continues in that vein, and this helps me to re-orient my heart (to the gospel no less!):

This loving Saviour is One who delights to “receive sinners.” (Luke 15:2). Let no man be afraid of going on with Christ, after he has once come to Him and believed. Let him not fancy that Christ will cast him off because of failures and dismiss him into his former hopelessness on account of infirmities. … Jesus will never reject any servant because of feeble service and weak performance. Those whom He receives He always keeps. Those whom He loves at first He loves at last.

And then my heart is strengthened by my Saviour’s love. Not only to love my child but to show Him such love as Christ shows His own, so that my children may long to know Him as their Savior as well. After all, I am not merely called to try to order my children’s behavior. More than that, I am to present to them by word and example Christ in such a way that they too might entrust their souls to Him.

On giving: We hadn’t intended any particular birthday gifts for the boys, but managed to find some toys on clearance the day after Easter. Seeing the delight in my boys’ faces upon receiving these simple gifts�and delighting in their delight�made me think that our Father too must take delight in giving gifts His children. Our Lord, I think, confirmed this idea when he said in Matthew 7:7-11:

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

And again, I’m brought to the reality that everything I do as a parent is an opportunity to reveal the character of my Father in Heaven to my children and lead them to Him. What a kind and generous Father we have through our Lord Jesus Christ!

Dearest Matthew,

You turn four years old today. Your arrival as our first child less than a year after your Mommy and I got married was a bit of a shock. And as much as we prepared for your coming both in terms of practical baby care and parenting tips, these four years have been a roller coaster of unprecedented proportions in our lives. You are quite a handful, my dear boy. And yet, it comes to mind that the Lord has in mind not merely our happiness but our holiness. And in that vein, you have been much used in our lives. Where we might’ve trusted our own preparations or techniques in raising you, it quickly became clear that what we have needed most is the grace of Christ in our lives to raise you up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

These four years have been a whirlwind. We look forward with both anticipation and no small amount of leaning on God’s grace. Happy birthday. I love you very much, my precious Matthew. I look forward to learning together with you of the riches of God’s kindness, mercy and riches in Christ in the coming years.

Love,
Daddy

P.S. For our blog visitors who were unable to join our festivities this evening, here are couple of photos of our little birthday celebration.

Family devotion is an important part of our family life. It is our desire to instill this practice in our children’s hearts and minds. I must admit that we had been very inconsistent since Matthew’s birth. We saw the importance of it so we got the ball rolling, but eventually fatigue and exhaustion overwhelmed us which took us off the course. As time went on, we were reminded again of the value of family devotion so we started it again. So it went, on again and off again and so forth. As we add more children to our growing family, more work is involved and of course more excuses for not having family devotion. Recently we revisit this topic and are determined to get it going despite the fact we are about to have our fourth child in six weeks.

Thus far we have been doing a very simple family devotion right after dinner. We find this to be the best time for us. Everyone is still seated after dinner so no need to gather all the children around. My husband reads a chapter or two from the Bible and then concludes the time with a prayer. Our children are required to sit still and be quiet. As we all mature, both adults and children, we will add more to this valuable time. At this point, we will just have a simple Bible reading time followed by a prayer.

If you’re unsure or are overwhelmed by the thought of starting a family devotion, take heart and start with something simple. Once you get this routine going, it is easy to maintain. I do look forward to the day where my children look to this time together with joy.

Our dear Andrew turns two today. I woke up this morning with a smile just thinking about him. It brought me back to two years ago when he was born. The labor pain was definitely there and I felt every contraction as no drugs were administered for the entire labor. All the grueling pain was worth it. He was the most beautiful looking baby when he finally came out. His face was rosy pink, no bruises, just perfect. Both Evers and I have been smitten by him ever since. He is such a blessing to us. As far as we can tell at this point, the Lord seems to have given him a gentle and kind disposition and a gift for music. We love his kisses, hugs, and snuggles. We are far beyond blessed. Happy birthday, my Andrew dear. I pray that the Lord will watch over your soul and that He will enable us to raise you in utmost godliness. May you one day be one of His.

Ever since becoming a mother, I wear many different “hats.” Among these are:

• Chief Operating Officer: My husband is CEO, but I’m in charge of getting things done around the house. And directing all the “subordinates” herein.
• Psychologist: When one of the kids is crying, I have to decipher what is going on, and it’s especially hard when the kid is not at the talking stage.
• Nurse: Those paper cuts can be darn nasty, not to mention those occasional falls.
• Judge: When the kids argue, I’m the mediator. I have to decipher who is right and who is wrong and give a pronouncement.
• Chief Cook or Chef: These kids don’t grow from eating nothing. My duty invovles making food that tastes good, as well as making sure they are healthy.
• Maid: How else will the house be kept clean and presentable?
• Personal Assistant: I dress, bathe, and feed the kids. I also do all their shopping needs.
• Chauffeur: Those little legs of theirs can’t get far. Those errands to the mall, library, and other outings require a good ‘o chauffer.
• Food Supply: That Mama’s milk is what made them thrive and gain lots of chubs for the first 15 months.
• Hair Dresser: For the boys, I spray and comb their hair. For the girl, I spray, comb, and create a nice hairdo. For all, I cut and trim their hair on a regular basis.
• Counselor: When they cry or get frustrated with each other or with a certain toy, a counselling session is neccessary.
• Interpreter: Even though I have not mastered the language of baby talk nor obtained a degree in this field, I can often interpret for the non-verbal child with an accuracy rate of 90%.
• Entertainer: My kids like to be amused so Mama is the entertainer and my repertoire includes singing, dancing, playing piano, jumping, kicking, and doing lots of wacky body maneuvers.
• Teacher: Thus far I teach the following subjects: home economics, phonics, math, reading, and Bible.
• Drill Sergeant: Who keeps the children in line? They need training and discipline.
• Social Coordinator: I organize all play dates, meetings with friends, outings, etc.
• Playmate: Someone has to be creative and come up with games and ideas to keep the little one interested.
• Shepherd: Above all, I’m called to be shepherd of my children’s souls.