Here’s a really well-written post on looking to the right “expert” to guide us in being parents (hint: capital “E”).

What I discovered the hard way is that God’s Word is SUFFICIENT. It is also LIVING and ACTIVE; a claim no Tripp or Dobson or Pearl or Ezzo can make. Everything we need to raise our children before the Lord is contained in His Word; every request brought before Him in prayer is met with His love and wisdom, which He pours out in abundance. (Heb 4:12, James 1:5)

Read the whole thing.

It’s been quite tough recently and because of physical ailments and the constant need to care for my children, I find myself whining and complaining. It is especially hard when I think this trial is too hard to bear. Though I believe my complaints are legitimate because they are true trials, I need to trust in the Lord. Sometimes I just don’t know how to pray. Do I pray for this trial to end soon so I can get on with life? Or do I pray for grace and strength through this dificult time? To be honest, I’d like to ask for the first because it is simpler and easier. However, I’m plagued by the second because I know it produces a better me. I am reminded of Romans 5:3-5:

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

I need to rejoice in suffering and look to the Lord. Since I have to go through this trial, might as well make the best of it. See it as a character molding time. Use it to glorify God. Look to the goal!

Instead of moaning and complaining, I think the best way to overcome this trial is to count my blessings, even if they are small blessings. So, my blessings and joys for today are:

• My husband being able to come home earlier today to watch the kids so I can rest for a little.
• My two lively and adorable boys who are just so precious to me.
• My kids were mostly obedient today.
• I had enough energy to look after them all morning.
• We are still scheduled to pick up our girl from China in two weeks.
• We have wonderful friends who provided food for us so I don’t need to cook. Our refrigerator is still stocked with food. What a blessing!
• My husband is able to take over my homeschooling task.

Many of my friends have asked me about how I care for my babies and various other tips. I normally respond on an individual basis, but this proves to be too much work after a while. I decided the best way to disperse the information is to consolidate and post it on the web. My hubby is kind enough to create the web page for me and make it look very presentable. If you are interested, visit my “Baby Care” page. Topics include cloth diapering, making your own baby food, infant potty training, and child carrier.

Lately Evers and I have been thinking and talking about how we train and discipline our children. We seem to think about this topic on a continual basis. When I was pregnant with our first child, we read voraciously so that we might be well-prepared to be parents. Most of the child rearing books we read were helpful and insightful. However, I find that one of the danger we parents often fall into is relying on the method itself instead of God. Some of the books even suggest that if you follow a certain method, you’ll have an obedient child. I am not trying to debunk child rearing methods. In fact, I find that methods are helpful and God does use methods to bring about changes in our children. What I’m speaking out against is trusting in methods primarily and not in God.

I’ve told Evers many times that God gave us our first child to humble us. Just when we think we have it all together, some encounter with him shows us otherwise. There were times when I got very frustrated and wondered what I did wrong since he still wasn’t as obedient as he ought (we wanted him) to be. I asked myself these kind of questions: Did I flip out? Did I handle the situation righteously? Was I consistent? Are Evers and I on the same page? Did I teach and instruct him correctly? After verifying that I did everything right, I get even more frustrated. Why did he still disobey??? What is wrong with him?!! Most of the time when I begin to go down this path, the Lord brings about a change in me. He reminds me that though I may do everything “correctly,” my child may still not be obedient as so-and-so said he would be, because ultimately it’s the Lord who brings about real lasting changes in anyone. What I need most is asking the Lord for help instead of flipping through books or researching on the internet to see where I or Matthew went wrong. Instead of relying on my own strength or others’ methods, I need to trust in the Lord and His gracious heart-changing power.

It’s usually when I’m at my lowest point that God brings about hope. All of sudden my child is angelic and is the most helpful boy I know. What happened? I certainly haven’t done anything differently. I believe it is the Lord’s work, and I certainly have no claim on that remarkable transformation.

When it comes to parenting, I’m reminded that Christian parents are called to the daunting task of shepherding our children’s souls and hearts and not mere behavioral modification. Our goal isn’t to crank out well-behaved children, but to lead them to Christ that they might live for His glory. We are talking about soul-shepherding here, not training a dog to obey commands. This task is more serious and difficult. When they disobey, I discipline them—so as to warn them of the grave danger of sinful living—and point them to Christ. When I know that they are not getting it, or if they continue to commit the same offense, I get down on my knees and pray for the work of the Holy Spirit.